THE THIRD P3RSON

•Chapter 14•

"Julianna. You need to talk to me, Honey. Do you want to throw up?" I heard Stacy whisper.

I was still her warm hug in Grey's office. My face started burning up at the thought of Miles and Ryan seeing me lose control over my breathing but I nodded to Stacy.

"I-I feel alright. I need air." I whispered, my voice sounded so tiny I wanted to cry. Why did this happen so suddenly?

Stacy nodded her head against mine. She stood up and brought me with her. The whole time I knew both Ryan and Miles were still in the room but I refused to look in their direction. I was mad at myself for having such a sudden impulse to run. There was nowhere that could be safer than with them! So why did I want to leave?

Stacy helped me to the window by her desk and she opened it while I sat down. I looked outside. Then I gave her a smile in a thank you.

Everyone was fine. The world was still spinning. People were still complaining about school and homework they had that was due the next day. Everyone was continuing their lives while I was having panic attacks because I was startled.

Why? Now, it won't leave my mind that it could happen at any moment. Does this mean I'll have to go back to therapy? Will I have to sit one on one with another random stranger who's only there to listen to my problems because they are getting paid by the famous fashionista Amy? Does this mean the attacks are back for good? Will they happen more often?

My breathing stopped and my words were stuck in my throat. I'll have to stay home with Amy telling me there's nothing wrong with me again. She'll give me that look again- the same look she always gives me with her look of utter disappointment, so I won't have to disturb her while she's on Skype with a client and I'm hungry.

"You're just being moody. Tomorrow you'll be back in school and cause even more trouble than you already have. I swear Julianna if I get a call from the nurse for whatever reason..."

She's just not going to pick up. She'll lie and say she wasn't home. Something along the lines of "sales at the fabric store, Darling." The time I'm in school Amy gets rid of me.

"Stacy, can you call my house?" I tell her with my head still on the window.

I can see her look of confusion. "Sure, Honey. What do you want me to say? You want me to tell your father to take you home?"

Another sharp breath. "N-No. I want you to tell whoever picks up that I'll be staying after school for detention."

Stacy already had the phone pressed to her ear when she pulls it away. "Honey if you aren't feeling well..."

"Just tell her that I'll be staying for a while... A conference with Grey, please." My eyes meeting hers.

She looks confused.

I can't blame her. The only thing everyone knows about me is that anything that has to do with photo release I can't participate in. I can't go home the middle of the day by myself either. If I did, I'd probably find a thousand people from magazines in the front door of my house. I've always done what Amy wanted so that she doesn't send me back to yet another stranger so I can open up to them only for them to tell me I'm stressed or that I was holding back on memories that were trying to resurface.

Right now I am going to do something for myself. Three hours just for me to calm down. They were not going to be spent locked in my room to avoid seeing the step-monster who came and destroyed everything in her wake.

"Hi. Am I speaking to the guardian of Julianna Jones?... Yes. Hello. My name is Stacy Ronaldo. I'm the secretary of the principal here at Charles G. Williams High School. I'm calling to tell you, Miss. Jones will be staying with Mr. Miles and me to discuss a new class schedule." Stacy pauses and I give her a warm smile.

"Nothing to worry about Miss. Julianna had actually done a spectacular job in her Language Arts and Visual Arts exams so we just want to ask if giving her advanced classes is okay for her to handle-.... Yes. If it's okay with you, it could take a few hours. We have to see which teachers are- Oh? Okay." Stacy gives me a look but my eyes dart downwards. "Yes. We'll have her safe and sound. Yep. That sounds perfect. Thank you. Goodbye."

Stacy hangs up real slowly and takes my hand in hers. She lowers herself so that she's at eye level with me. " That was not your mother on the phone, is it?" She asks me.

"No. It's not."

"A real parent who's concerned about her child would've asked how long it would take for the schedule to be made. She said you could come home whenever. " Stacy said. "That she 'really didn't care' in her words. That woman hung up rather quickly."

"You probably called while she was at a conference with her collaborators. Big project. Bad timing. That's exactly what I wanted."

"Julianna you are a spectacular girl and the panic attacks are getting worse..."

"I know, Stacy. I feel that too."

"You have to tell your guardians. They have to do something to help you. Telling you to come home at whatever time isn't helping you at all." Stacy scolded.

I jumped to give her a hug. "I-I miss my m-mom." I sobbed.

Stacy froze. "Honey" was all I heard before she squeezed me in a hug.

I am not the type the let myself look vulnerable. I've learned that it's best to keep your problems to yourself if you can. I hated the feeling of being lost. It made me feel like something was wrong with me and then another panic attack would follow. Stacy rubbed a circle on my back and I took a few deep breaths. I don't think Stacy knew how much a simple hug from her meant.

I tell myself sarcastically, At least she knows how much Amy loves me but, damn. If only I had a time machine to travel to the time my father said "I do" the second time.