THE THIRD P3RSON

•Chapter 20•

There are certain days when you just want to go out walking with no destination in mind. I walked just to wonder where I'll end up (hopefully not in the back of a white van). The breeze is just right and you faintly hear the birds in the background. The birds were chirping for some random reason but just add to your peacefulness. When the world is messed up and you have nowhere to go and nothing to do, why not walk? It would be nice to see things you don't normally do, right?

When I went out for a walk with Ryan to delay going to where Amy was, I saw a guy hold the door for his girlfriend. Chivalry isn't dead yet. He gave her a hug and laughed. Awe, what a cute laugh. She gave him a kiss on his cheek by standing on the tips of her toes. I gave a bittersweet smile.

Isn't that cute? When people tell you they have found their other half at age fifteen? They say they'll be together forever. Sometimes I can't help but let a laugh slip. People think "love" in a relationship is at its peak when they have their high school sweetheart. Romantic love, in my opinion, is only used to sell ideas to companies. Do you want a poem? Why not let the topic be about missing someone you once loved? There is a holiday made not for couples in love but for chocolate and flower lovers.

Do you think any of that is real? Pah-lees.

You might be saying: Julianna, damn. Who hurt you?

The answer is: who hasn't?

I won't find anything like that in my lifetime and that is promised. Things like that are fake. Actors get scripts. Photographers have to set the mood. Hallmark cards just put something on a piece of paper to sell it to you for anniversaries or Valentines.

I was telling all of this to Ryan, who disagreed on some parts. The photography part (i.e. his department) he couldn't help but laugh at. Right as we were going to pass the couple, Ryan froze and backed away. When I shielded my eyes to dim the sun, I saw the couple was Christina and Maxwell.

And we had to come across this now because...?

I turned and pulled Ryan away.

"My luck." He said.

What do you have to say to that, Julianna?

----

That night, I sent in all the homework I could before midnight so I had the rest of my weekend free. One thing I needed to do was send in my first two slides for the Spanish/Scholarship Opportunity project.

I logged into my google docs, thinking I could type some things up so I wouldn't leave it all until the last minute when I just figured: Why not finish it completely?

Easier said than done, Julianna.

I started typing in what I thought was a new document.

Christina Olivens came to my middle school in seventh grade. I went up to her and tried to be what I thought was friendly. I always had an inner fear she thought I was weird. She didn't talk at first and I thought it was because she was shy. Later that day, I wanted to ask her how her first day went and I saw her talking to the seniors. My first thought was that she had an older brother or sister who was in high school and that's why she was hanging around with the popular seniors. It wasn't until I saw Christina befriend Ryan that I knew she was just looking around for the popular crowd.

I just so happen to sit by Ryan and Christina in some of my classes and it took me a while to figure out who Christina really was. She likes fashion. A lot.

That was my first impression of her.

Also, I started laughing as I typed my closing.

And she has a certain relationship with the guy I've liked in forever but I won't do anything about it because I know I don't have a chance.

That's it. I was done with my project. I was turning it in. I typed in Miss. Diaz's email and shared the document with her. I bit my nails before I sighed.

I erased the last line.

I fell backwards on my bed and felt like crying. I glanced at my wall and saw a picture of my mother. Even upside down, you could see the natural beauty she had. If she were here, I would've been in paradise.

"I need to go somewhere," I whispered to the ceiling. I clasped my hands in a prayer. "Please, God, send a sanctuary my way. I know I should be the good person and love Amy and my father as my parents but I can't put it past me all the things they've both done to me. My mother was the most amazing person ever and my time with her was limited. She was meant to die in the plane crash, I know. I heard all of my cousins from Canada and California and Florida tell me over Skype how much she meant to them and that you take the best people to stand by you. I've heard it all but sometimes." My voice cracked and I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Sometimes a girl wants her mother by her side. I tried making amends with my father. I tried thinking this what was best for him. But when he kept leaving me out on family vacations? Was... That wasn't right."

I went on a full rant, needing someone to listen to how hard I've been getting hit by the world.

"But you know all this, " I give the picture of my mother one more glance. "You brought her with you for a reason and I can't wait for her to see me at my best in the future. Please bless me with a future. Amen." I kissed my hand and brought it up to the picture above my headrest. I smiled and said,"Good night, Mom."

For the hundredth time in a row, I cried myself to sleep.

---

I woke up from a nightmare five hours later. I turned on my small lamp on my bedside and dragged myself to the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror, I winked at my reflection.

Grabbing my toothbrush, I put some toothpaste on it while smiling. "That drool on your cheek had never looked more attractive."

In the quiet hours of the day, with only my toothbrush making sounds, my phone rings unexpectantly. I drop my toothbrush. I laughed at how stupid I was being for being so jumpy while washing the toothbrush under the faucet.

"Who could that be?" I asked myself, completely confused.

Picking up the phone, I answered it.

"Julianna?" A voice asked.

I almost laughed. "Ryan? What a time to call."