It's too much to say aloud
Especially here, especially now.
You're up and ready to marry
While I'm sitting idly in the crowd.
The priest shouts "Any Objections?"
And I try to rise to my feet,
But my clothes feel too tight,
The air is too thick,
And my throat is too dry to speak.
The crowd jumps up and cheers when you kiss,
And I turn to go;
What's drowned out by laughter and joy
Is my strained, guttural moan.
I'm sorry, friend, but I just can't watch;
I know I'd promised I'd stay,
But the room's too bright
And the color's too sharp;
I won't be missed at the reception anyway.
If anything comes up, just come and find me,
I'll be docked at the local bar.
My friend's brother is behind the counter;
I put decent tips in his jar.
He doesn't seem to mind my presence,
I'll admit he's cute,
But he's much too distant
And he's way too shy
And he doesn't tell anecdotes like you.
I suppose I'll leave this shadow town,
With its faded memories.
It's not like I'm sentimental
To what will haunt me in my sleep.
I don't think I'll be too missed,
Even you will move on
Because after all,
I'm just a friend
Who deceived you all along.
But before I go, I might stop by
The cafè off route three,
The place we used to ramble on
Over a warm cup of tea.
But all that will soon wash away
Like a riptide, once here then gone;
The talks, the smiles
Were beautiful and sweet
But I interpreted it wrong.
Now I cannot change a thing.
You're happy and I'm alone.
You're bubbling with abundant affection,
While I'm heartless; I'm stone.
I wish I could have spelled it out
To you when I could.
I could have had your smile
Your laugh
Your blush
Your touch
Your heart
Your words
Your voice
Your love
Your everything
But that's all gone for good.
