Why Fall For Him

Chapter 15

Chapter15

*Justin's pov*

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I paced back and force, only to re-trace my tracks over and over again. Shattered glass was scattered across the floor. Broken picture frames of Selena and I, laid on the floor. I looked at each of them. Every picture brought back so many memories.

I remember the first time I met Selena, I starred into her eyes and couldn't help but think and know I would make her mine. And I did just that. Within two months, I fell in love. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Within six months, Selena moved in. We told each other everything. We were head over heals in love with each other. It wasn't until almost two years later till I proposed. That was absolutely the best point on both of our lives. I had talked about having a baby six months after the engagement but,

Selena said she wasn't ready for that type of responsibility just yet. I told her I would wait as long as I had to. And at the time, I understood why she wasn't ready for a baby. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn't ready for a baby, myself.

Two months later, just like that, flashbacks of my past came fluttering my mind and that's when my world came crashing down. It wasn't until a year later when I realized what I was capable of. I didn't release my anger, I held it inside. Selena didn't do anything at all, but one night I lost control of myself and took it all out on her. After that, she was kinda like my target, 'my punching bag'. I never meant to hurt her or push her away. I wasn't always aware of what I was doing. I felt like my flashbacks brainwashed me into believing all of this was okay. I was majorly abused as a kid. That was all I had ever known when I was a kid. So when all of those flashbacks fluttered my mind, that's all I could think of. Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and cheating all became a part of my life. That's what I grew up around. I promised myself I wouldn't get involved with those type of things and I wouldn't ever mistreat my wife, fiancé, or girlfriend. But, I was so overwhelmed at the time, I had no time to think for myself. Selena barely crossed my mind, unless I wanted sex or money, or a target.

It wasn't until five or six months ago that I realized what I was doing. Selena opened my eyes. But, I lost her. And I've died inside 1,000 times because of it. And i hate myself for every time I laid one finger tip on her.

••••

*Selena's Pov*

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George wrapped his arms around my waist. He rested his chin on my shoulder. I forced myself to fight the erg to kiss him. My heart pounded and butterflies fluttered my stomach. I love the way I hate the way he makes me feel.

"Did you think about it?" He asked. He twirled me around. I tripped, falling into his arms. A smile crossed both of our faces.

"George, please." I paused, avoiding eye contact.

"I told you I needed time." I said quietly. He backed away and threw his hands in the air.

"How much time do you need? It's either you want to be with me or you don't!" He said angrily. The veins in his neck popped out. He clenched his jaw. I took a step closer towards him but once I did he backed away. Our eyes met, but I wished they didn't. His eyes were hard and frightening. I use to see those eyes every night in my dreams. Those hard, frightful, eyes were Justin's eyes.

"I do want to be with you but, I"

I stuttered. His expression was blank. His deep blue eyes starred into mine. I forgot what I was going to stay.

"But what, Selena?" He shouted. His voice echoed throughout the house. The tension between us grew. I don't want to go through this again. I don't want to argue or fight.