Why Fall For Him

Chapter 20

Why Fall For Him

*Justin's Pov*

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Weeks pasted and Selena hasn't returned my calls. I'm becoming desperate to see her, I can't stand it any longer. I miss her smile and her laugh. I miss the way her hair flows perfectly across her shoulders and behind her back. I miss the sound of her voice and the little sparkle in her eyes. I miss that electrical feeling I use to get when I pressed my lips against hers. I miss how she use to send chills run through my body once our body's made contact. I miss everything about her, from her annoying little eye roll to her electrical moans that filled the empty room at night. Distance and overthinking everything isn't helping. I need an answer and I need to know she feels the same way I feel about her. I have to look into her eyes and tell her how much I love and missed her, despite the countless voicemails which got my point across.

I gathered all of my belongings and threw them in my suitcase. Which wasn't much considering I didn't pack my whole closet. My dad walked through the door. Our shoulders collided as I walked past him. He grabbed my shoulders, stopping me in my tracks.

"Where are you going?" I shrugged my shoulders, cocking my head to the side.

"Leaving, what else would I be doing?"

I snapped. I clenched my jaw as he tightened his grip.

"Justin, don't go." He begged. His eyes said enough but the emotion in his voice said even more.

"Let me go." I demanded.

He loosened his grip but kept his hand glued to my shoulder.

"There's comes a point and time were you just have to let go."

"No, I won't let her go."

I brushed past his shoulder and walked out the door.

He followed behind, stopping me before I got into his car. I turned around, making eye contact. His brown eyes were full of sorrow and discomfort.

"You didn't let mom go. So why should I let Selena go? Tell me, how is that right?"

"That's different, Justin. I lost your mother because of sickness."

"I'm won't let her go."

I hissed as I turned my attention to ground. I clenched my jaw, my blood pressure rising by the minute. I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Don't go." He begged.

I shook my head, opening the car door. My dad stood in silence, speechless. I pulled out of the driveway, speeding through the neighborhood to the airport.

The flight back felt much longer than before. As I lay my head against the head rest, I can't help but feel guilty for leaving my dad with no one but himself. The pain in his eyes flashed through my mind. I closed my eyes, thinking his image would go away but it didn't. A sudden urge to turn around and go back over came me, but I know I can't. Once I land in New York the only thing on my mind will be Selena.

"Don't go." His soft voice rang through my head. Faces were starring as I shook my head screaming. I rushed to the bathroom. I turned in the lights and lid down the bathroom door.

"Shut up!" I cried, demanding the voices inside my head to go away.

"How could you leave your father like that? So demanding and heartless."

"Move on. She left you, remember that?"

"She left you for a reason."

The voices inside my head yelled, bringing me so close to my breaking point. I leaned against the door. I looked back only to see a broken young man with messy dirty blonde hair, brown eyes, pal face and he wore a broken expression on his face. This man had tears in his eyes, which slowly slipped through his eye lids and down his cheeks. This man has gone through so much these past few months and is reaching his breaking point. The man in the mirror is me. I closely examined my facial structure only to notice how much weight I've loss and how much more unattractive I've become. I examined the bags under my eyes. My un-shaved face was unappealing and I found myself asking myself,

"How did I let myself go this easily?"

I couldn't seem to find an answer. I shut my eyes, letting the tears fall before I pulled myself together and walked back to my seat.

After twisting and turning, I finally fell asleep. Memories Selena and I shared flushed my mind as I sleep. I could almost hear myself sob as I slept. I must look like an idiot. An idiot whose crazy in love with someone who may or may not feel the same. An idiot who is broken hearted and drowning in love.