Why Fall For Him

Chapter 29

Selena's pov

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birth dear Tessa happy birthday to you!" Everyone cheers on. Tessa smiles and hides her face in her hands. She's a little shy around big group settings but I'm sure she'll grow out of it. Her eyes shine bright but sadden as she says, "Mommy, where's daddy?" She props her elbows onto the table and heaves a sigh.
"He's coming baby. I promise." I turn and glare into Justin's direction. That was his signal to come around the corner. He did. He carried the one thing she absolutely wanted; a Cinderella dollhouse. He wears a grey suit and a white button down shirt. His hair is swept to the side; shorter on the sides and longer on the top. He looks nice and kept together. He looks sober.
A smile covers my daughters face from ear to ear. Words can't express the feeling of happiness I feel from this.
"Daddy!" Tessa chimes and jumps out of her seat to give her daddy a big hug. She only reaches up to his knees. I crack a smile.
"Happy birthday baby girl! Daddy loves you so much!" Justin kneels to the floor and embraces Tessa into his arms. He hugs her tight and she tries her best to mimic her father. "How does it feel to be three, princess? Do you feel old?"
"No." She says. Her happiness is written all over her face. She giggles and hugs Justin's strong arm.
"Can I have ice cream now?" I can hear her whisper into his ear.
"Only if I can have some too!" He teases. She agrees and they run into the kitchen with each other in search of ice cream.
Minutes later they return and take a seat at the table. Tessa sits in Justin's lap and they eat ice cream together out of the tub.
I him cut his eyes towards me. He cracks a smile. I smile back and sit back at the table with the rest of my family and friends.
Dawn falls. Tessa is having the time of her life. All of her friends are here. They run around the house playing tag or playing with baby dolls.
"Selena?" Justin pulls me aside. My heart stops just for a second.
"Yes, Justin?"
"Can we talk?" He says. We walk into a quiet room. The fireplace is lit. The room is warm. "I know we said that we would take a break from each other but-" I cut him off and push him a few inches away from me. He doesn't seem to care. The look in his eye is something so passionate it's hard for me to identify.
"I'm not talking about this now." I say.
"Then when will you talk about it? It's been three years since I've had a real conversation with you that doesn't concern our daughter, child support, or day care. It's draining. I miss us and I want to be a family again. Think of how much happier Tessa would be if the two people she loved most loved each other. We did. We once loved each other. I still love you. Hey,"
He pauses, heaves a sigh and continues. "I'm sober now. Three years. Do you want to know what was harder than the recovery process? The whole sober thing?" He pauses. His eyes are firmly set on mine. "It was loosing you. I would do the whole thing over again a thousand times if I never had to loose you again."
"Justin I thought we said-" I start to say.
"I know what we said but I can't wake up every morning without you by my side or my daughter." He says. A lump grows in my throat. My eyes fall heavy. I want nothing more for the both of us to be happy. I'm just not sure we can please each other. I use to think we were missing pieces to each other's puzzle but now I've realized that those puzzle pieces have changed. The corners are now straight. The curves are not compatible. We don't suit each other the way we need to.
"Our relationship is toxic Justin. Can't you see that?" I say; my voice cracks.
"What are you afraid of?"
"I'm afraid of having to explain to our daughter that her father; who she adores more than anyone on this Earth, has taken his life because our relationship couldn't work." My voice grows stern.
When I was young, I had heart that had yet to be broken. Then I met Justin and I have him half of my heart and more. He loved me but he also hurt me more than anyone ever had and shattered everything I had. God then blessed me with my daughter. She means more to me than words can express. My other half now lies in her hands. Between the two, I have nothing. Hurting her would hurt me more than anything.
"Let's face it Justin, we'll never be the same again. No amount of counseling could fix us." I continue as I beg him to understand. He paces in a circle for a few seconds, stroking his clean cut beard.
"So," he struggles to form words. "That's it? We give up on each other? Is that what you want to teach other daughter, to be a quitter, to give up just because it seems easier?" We are yelling at each other now.
"No, that's not what I want!" I nearly cry out. "See this is what I mean Justin! We're yelling once again! We're yelling at our daughters birthday party!" I scream. Tears roll down my cheek and hit the floor.
He runs his fingers through his hair.
"We don't have to be! We could work this out! Dammit, Selena! I'm so in love with you that I'd lay my life down for you right now!" He screams in rage. Tears stain his cheeks. His jaw tightens and he leans against the wall, pushing his head against the wall.
"Baby, baby-" I break down into his arms. He pulls me into his embrace. I mean to be strong but hearing him say what he said brings me to a dark place that I don't want to relive. "Justin don't say that!" He nods.
"I'm sorry." He strokes my cheek. He turns and hovers over my body. He pushed me against the wall and plants a kiss on my lips. His lips are warm and familiar but I refuse to allow myself to be lured into his trap. I refuse to allow myself to be manipulated when I know that this isn't good for either of us.
"You're worth fighting for." He says. I close my eyes and inhale his scent. He smells like Versace cologne.
"But, I'll wait even though it's going to be the hardest thing." He pauses. I smile. "But if somewhere between all the battles you find someone, let me know so I stop fighting." He says. I understand completely but it takes me a few seconds to respond in any way. I don't want him to stop fighting for me. I still love him but there are too many odds against us that will keep us from being together.
"You're a warrior." Is all I can manage to say before I hear little footsteps behind us. He turns around swiftly.
"Daddy will you play Barbie with us?" Tessa says in the sweetest voice. He walks away but turns to face me before he leaves the room. A smile covers his face. I smile back. I am left confused as ever. Should I give him another chance? No, don't be silly. He's manipulative and sexy but you can't allow yourself be victimized by him. He's dangerous and his games are never friendly.

Justin's pov

Tessa's fingers curl sound my thumb and index finger. She drags me into a room full of her friends. Baby dolls and Barbie dolls are scattered across the room covering the floor. She already has her new Cinderella dollhouse placed in a corner.
"I want you to be the first to play in my Cinderella doll house with me daddy." She says. Her eyes glow with happiness. She's jumped up and down as I unwrap her dollhouse.
"Can I take it home with me? I think I like it better than you do!" I tease.
"No daddy, it's all mine!" She smiles and twirls in circles. Her smile brightens my darkest days; I've never seen anything more precious.
She's got her mothers smile and her mothers personality. She's got her mothers laugh and her energy. She's got her mothers beauty.
"Tess," I hear a sweet voice from behind. Tessa crawls in my lap and cuddles me as she is frightened. "It's mommy silly willy!" I say whilst laughing. Selena stands behind us quickly snapping a picture of the two of us. I grab her wrist and gently pull her down and cradle my girls in my arms. I take her camera and snap pictures the three of us.
"Just remember, I won't give up on us. This right her is what I live for." I whisper into her ear. She smiles, "I haven't changed my mind." She whispers back with a soft giggle.

A/N: So sorry I haven't updated in so long! I've been busy with school and haven't found the time to wrap things up. What really inspired me to write this is I know how frustrating it is to read a story then the author stops writing and leaves you with out closure. I will try to update again soon...just be patient with me please! I hope you enjoyed!
ALSO, 3 year time jump...how do you feel about this and do you think Justin and Selena should end up together, find someone else or stay single and support each other? Your feedback and comments are much appreciated.
Xoxo