Why Fall For Him

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

*Selena's pov*

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Flashbacks of last night flooded my mind. George's bloodshot eyes starred deeply into mine. His eyes were hard and terrifying. I set his phone on the arm of the couch, crossing my arms. Our eyes met, he slowly walked towards me, loosing his balance with every few steps he took. He pushed me against the wall, grabbing my hips with both hands. I removed his hands from my hips, I refuse to give him control of me not only because he's cheating but I loved and trusted him with everything I had in me, only to find out he's cheating.

Like Justin. He did the same. I trusted and loved him, but over time I got used to being used and abused. Now what's left of him and I? Nothing. I adapted to the feeling but I won't allow myself to be mistreated again. I won't allow myself to experience that again, not with George, not with anyone.

Slightly pushing him out of my way, I walked upstairs. George burst through the doors with a hard and cold expression on his face. He walked up to me, pointing his finger in my face. I swiped his finger. Rage grew within him. His temper rose while my heart beat faster.

"If you ever go through my phone again," he started to say. I cut him off, nearly in tears.

"Remember, you promised me you'd never hurt me like Justin did?" I paused, wiping the tears from eyes. I couldn't find the words to say.

"Remember that George? You broke your promise."

A smirk crossed his face, he chuckled as he walked closer to the bed.

"Promises are meant to be broken."

His deep, raspy voice sent chills run through my body. Before I knew it, he had me pinned against the wall.

"Well, not in my world they aren't." I said in almost a whisper.

Our eyes locked. My eyes making their way down to his soft lips. Craving his lips. Craving his touch.

"Face it Sel, we both have our reasoning for doing what we do. You aren't good enough."

'You aren't good enough.' His words hurt, like someone had just stabbed me in the heart. I struggled to keep the tears from escaping from eyes.

"He left you, but I won't do that."

His change in words are giving me whiplash. I'm not sure what he's saying but the sound of his voice is like a drug to my ears.

"Is that a promise?"

The words slipped out my mouth.

His lips were just inches from mine.

"No. It's a commitment." He said, biting his lower lip. He leaned his forehead against mine.

"What's the difference?"

"Promises are meant to be broken. But a commitment is like giving your heart to someone you love and trust with everything in you."

My mind is running a mile a minute, I don't have the time or patients to follow his mind games.

"Didn't you just say I wasn't good enough?" I asked.

"I don't mean it that way." He said, with a hint of pity in his voice.

I can't keep up. All I'm hearing is, you aren't good enough but I love and trust you with everything in me. I'm not sure how to take all of this in. One minute he's telling me one thing then the next he's telling me another. Although I'm not quite sure what he's saying, I didn't ask questions.

"Then how else do you mean it?" I said, trying my best to be intimidating. However my attempt made him chuckle.

"When I say you aren't good enough, I mean exactly what I say. Put it this way, every guy has this fantasy and if he can't live that fantasy, he has to find someone who can fulfill his fantasy. That doesn't mean I love you any less," I cut him off.

"I'll be whatever, whoever you want me to be, whenever you want me to be. Remember, I'm yours." I said, meaning every word I said.

"No, I want you to be you." He chimed in with a smile.

"Promise me something," I began. He faintly whispered, "yes" so I continued,

"Commit yourself to me and only me." I said, begging and praying he would agree.

He nodded his head. Seconds later, a smile crossed his face. Our lips soon connected. Taken back by his sudden action, but I immediately kissed back. He wrapped his arms around me as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Our tongues fought for dominance, racing to the finish line, deepening within each second.

As we kiss, I realize how hard it'd be to let him go. I know what he's doing isn't right, but being without him doesn't feel right. Being without him isn't an option. Although, I should hate him for everything he's put me through.

But do I? No.

Do I still love him? Yes.

Do I care that he broke me in two? Not really.

Do I love him more than I did before? Yes.

Do I still want to be with him? Yes.

Do I forgive him? Yes.

Our lips locked throughout the night until the sun began to rise. His steady breath slowly progressed into a deep, heavy breath, uncontrollably unsteady. As the mixture of light colors of the evening sky started to fade, George and I fell asleep in each other's arms, holding one another as close as we could possibly manage. Close isn't close enough.

Hours later, I woke up to a throbbing headache, that I couldn't seem to get rid of. My stomach is twirling and turning as I experienced the worst pain I've ever gone through. As I lean up, slightly, my headache goes away for a spilt second, but once I lay back down, the pain instantly comes back. George obviously seeing my pain, he rubbed my back as I lean forward.

"Can you get me a glass of water?" I could barely form the words. He nodded, leaving the room without a word.

My head ache and stomach pains make me want to scream and shout until they go away. Holding my stomach, trying to bare the pain, only I couldn't. Feeling like I was going to throw up, I crawled out of bed, sprinting to the bathroom. My vision is a blur, my surroundings are spinning round and round. Before I could do anything else, I fell to the floor with a loud thud.

If I don't make it, at least save my baby.

I cried to myself before I fell into a deep sleep. However, I didn't fall I to a deep sleep, I fell into something much more than that and I can tell this won't end well.