Beyond the Stars *Dark Louis Tomlinson*

Chapter 9

"Adeline, sweetheart, wake up."

I open my eyes, surprised at the person in front of me. "Mummy?" I ask, sitting up.

She smiles. "Yes. It's Mummy. Dad and I are here to take you home. We thought it'd be nice for you to come back to Bristol for a few weeks until you're feeling better to go back to London. You're banged up pretty bad, though. Charlie's going to visit, too. It'll be like old times."

I smile. "Mum, I forgot that Andrew died," I say sadly. "I don't know why my memory was so bad. How could I forget that my own boyfriend had died?"

"You fell out of a twelve story window," she sighs.

"About that," my father butts in, sitting on my bed. "How exactly did you fall out of a twelve story window?"

I can't tell them about Louis. I can't tell them that it was to kill myself. They'd think I'm suicidal and depressed or something. Their only daughter couldn't have tried to kill herself. But what do I tell them? I'm usually the master at lying.

"Um," I say. Got it! "You know me. I've always been the klutzy one. I had opened the window to get some fresh air and leaned out a little bit. I guess a little bit was too much and I tipped over the side."

"Isn't your flat only on the third floor?" my mum asks.

"I was at a little party," I lie smoothly. "It wasn't anything big. It was just a social gathering and I was in the bathroom. No one really noticed I had suddenly slipped out. Literally."

They both smile. "That's our girl," my dad says, patting my non-injured leg. "Always the funny one. Well, the doctor says that we can take you home today. Now, let's go. It's a long ride back to Bristol."

"Here," my mum says, handing me some clothes I must have left back home. "We'll give you a few minutes. We'll be outside."

I nod as they leave. I look down at the dark blue cast on my ankle. I slowly stand up and hobble into the bathroom. When I look in the mirror, I know this is for the best. It's time to go home. There are many demons back in Bristol, but living in London right now isn't an option. Louis could easily scoop me back off the streets. I need a break from it all. I need to go home.

I slowly remove my hospital gown and put on the clothes my mother brought me. They're just some old, ratty grey sweatpants and a dark blue sweatshirt. Looks like she found my old grey beanie with the black ball hanging off the top. I smile as I put it on. Much better. It smells like home. And in this moment, I am more homesick than I have ever been in my entire life.

I put on one of the slippers the hospital gave me with the really comfy, plush hospital socks. I stuff the other sock over my exposed toes on my casted ankle. Once I've hobbled back into my room, I grab my crutches and limp out the door. My parents greet me lovingly. They've already checked me out so I'm all set to go.

My dad's car is parked in the parking lot. I feel bad that they had to drive all the way out here and then drive all the way back. But I guess it's okay under the circumstances. My face is still bruised. My black eye isn't as throbbing and purple as it used to be but it's still pretty evident on my face. My lip was split right open and needed stitches. Honestly, there wasn't a part of my body that wasn't hurt in some way. My concussion is almost gone. The nurses tell me that I spent about ten days in the hospital to just rest up my injuries.

Nobody visited me. Not Elizabeth or Miles or Louis. I don't know what to think of it. If they visited while I was asleep I haven't been informed of it. Louis still has my cell phone. I'm sure I was on the news in some way. I can tell by the looks in the nurse's eyes that they know I had tried to kill myself. But that's all they know. Everyone thinks they know my story just by seeing it on the news, but they have no idea what actually happened. Nobody knows me.

I quickly fall asleep in the back seat, trying to make the car ride shorter. I dream of playing guitar with my love. I can hear his voice softly singing to me. He has a beautiful voice. It's been so long since I've heard it. I guess his voice is higher than I once thought. It doesn't matter. It is still beautiful and we harmonize nicely. Nothing can be better.

When we finish our song to each other, I finally look at my lovely boyfriend. But that's not Andrew. It's Louis. He's smiling at me. And it's a nice, genuinely beautiful smile that makes me warm and fuzzy inside. He attempts to hold my hand but I back away from him. Louis. He's going to make me his wife. I am going to be prisoner for the next seventy or so years. I need out. Get me out!

"Louis!" I yell.

My mum spins around in the passenger seat. "Adeline, are you okay?" she asks softly.

I slump back in my seat, looking out at the night sky. "Yeah. It was just a dream. How long until we're home?"

"Shouldn't be more than twenty minutes," my father says happily, speeding along the empty road.

"What time is it?" I ask.

My mum checks her phone. "It's almost nine o'clock, dear. Try to get some more rest. It's good for your concussion. Oh, and don't forget that you'll have to start physical therapy for your ankle once you return to London. I have to urge you to take the therapist seriously and do everything he says. I want you to recover fully."

"I got it, Mum. I want to recover, too."

"Well, I know you do. You can be a little rebellious at times when it inconveniences you, Ad."

"Am not."

My parents laugh. "Please, Adeline. You were the definition of a rebellious teenager. The only one that could sort you out was Andrew. Who knows what you've been doing since he's been gone," my dad says.

Well, ouch. "I haven't been doing anything besides working and hanging around. I'm trying to pay rent for my flat and other necessary things. If you think I'm just partying and fooling around then you've got it all wrong."

"You were the one who fell out of a twelve story window at a party," he retorts.

"Do you wanna know something?" I ask. "I tried to kill myself. That's what actually happened. Don't be so quick to judge."

The car goes silent. Shit. "Why did you try to kill yourself, Adeline?" my mum asks softly, on the verge of tears.

I sink down in my seat further, looking out the window. "It's complicated," I whisper. "You guys just have no idea how hard it's been since Andrew died. It's not an everyday thing to lose the love of your life to cancer. You won't ever understand."

"If you just let us-"

"No," I interrupt sternly. "You won't ever understand."

That goes for both Andrew's death and the Louis situation. No one will ever understand.