"What do you think?" Jack asked as he finished placing a few baby toys on top of the dresser, looking over with a smile at where I stood in the doorway.
"I think it's perfect," I said, resting my hands on my belly and walking over to where he stood so I could give him a hug. "She's going to love it."
"I've got the blocks here spelling out Bella, and then a few of her toys to decorate the top." he explained, pointing to the top of the dresser. "Crib's finally assembled, although it took Conor and I all day to try and figure out how to do it before Joe came and read the instructions."
I giggled then, smiling up at him. "Well, you should know well enough that directions are helpful, and that it's smart to read them."
"But you're the one who does all the reading." he pointed out.
"I read books, Dear." I told him. "Directions are things we should all read."
"Then that'll be how we teach our little princess to read, then." he said, kissing my belly.
I woke up with a start, sitting up in bed panting. Once I was able to catch my breath for the most part it had immediately turned into crying. I buried my face into my knees then, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Mel?" A groggy voice asked, and then I felt Jack's hand on my back, trying to calm me down. "Mel, baby, what's going on, what's the matter?"
We were all ready for her to arrive.
Bella was going to get there and then we'd have our own little family. Conor and Josh had both started to look for their own places for when the lease was up, and Jack and I were going to renew it ourselves to begin our lives as a family there.
But now that was all gone. And so was she.
"Did you have another dream?" he asked, and I nodded, finally catching my breath.
"We were decorating the nursery." I said in a small voice. "You were showing me around and we were discussing how reading directions was helpful."
"That was recent," he said after awhile, hugging me close. "It was about a week or two before your accident."
Jack got me to lay back down then, cuddled up into his side. He just held me close for awhile, with neither of us speaking. He rubbed my back softly and I just watched him, my eyes adjusting more to the darkness.
"Will you tell me about how things were going to be?" I asked him. "As a family?"
He nodded. "Bella was due on April 30th. You revealed to me that you were pregnant one day when you had Will Darbyshire do a couple's photoshoot for us. Something you thought would be fun, but I went along with. How it was going down was we'd each write a word to describe the other on a chalkboard and then Will was going to get a picture of our reactions to the words when we revealed them. That was what you used to tell me that I was going to be a dad.
"We were scared shitless," he continued on. "I mean, we're basically kids ourselves, but now we were about to have our own. But we were going to manage, because we're strong and we can make it through. We've had our setbacks, but we've always been able to get through them. That's what this is too: a setback."
"Thank you for always being here for me," I said, and he held me closer. "Even when I try to push you away, you've always been here. You really mean a lot to me, Jack."
"Amelie Isabelle, I don't think you realize just how much you mean to me." he said. "You found me when I was in a very, very dark time in my life, and you were able to pull me out of it. It's my turn to help you, and I'm so glad to do it because you are the actual light of my life."
"Have we ever gotten into any bad fights?" I asked suddenly, looking up at him again. "Bad ones, that made us regret falling in love?"
"We broke up once," he said, his voice getting softer. "Almost two years ago now. My fault, I did something stupid. You thought I was cheating on you, and I did nothing to assure you I wasn't. Joe almost kicked my ass for it, and I would've easily let him because I hurt you. Eventually, for some reason I'll never know, he ended up helping me get you back."
I wish I still knew the full story to mine and Jack's relationship. Maybe I would some day, but for now all I had were these little pieces I kept uncovering, each one more of a rollercoaster than the next.
So we weren't the perfect couple that I had been led to believe that we were. But, for some strange reason, it was comforting to know that we did have ups and downs. And someday I'd know them all, because even if I didn't end up getting my memories back, Jack wouldn't stop until he'd refreshed me in all of them.
But did I love him?
I knew him well, after all of this time. I knew I definitely had strong feelings for him, and that I was on my way to falling back in love with him the way I once had been, but I wasn't quite sure if I was there yet or not.
"Let's try to go back to sleep, okay?" Jack asked then, snapping me out of my thoughts, and I nodded.
"Okay,"
YOU ARE READING
Remember Me (Jack Maynard)
Fanfiction"I know this is a lot for you to process. But no matter what it takes, I will get you to fall in love with me again."