Unpredictable (Zayn Malik)

12.

Zayn

My head's under water

But I'm breathing fine

You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me, loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you

You're my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I'm winning

'Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you, oh

I turn the volume up louder not noticing anyone else in this room. My earphones have been glued to my ears ever since we got to the arena. Sutton left earlier to go help her dad with something. So now here I am just sitting alone on this couch, well not really alone. I'm with the boys and Lou and the other stylists as well, alone is just how I'm feeling. The feeling of being in a room full of people yet still feeling alone is just a weird thing, but I've gotten used to it after awhile.

I can only hear the music right now while everyone else is proabably chatting or laughing about something while I'm stuck here in this labyrinth while everyone else is going about with their lives. I hate this feeling of being alone without no one to be there for me, well besides Sutton. She's really been trying to help me but everytime she pulls I pull right back. I don't understand why someone like Sutton would bother with someone like me, I keep telling myself that I'm a lost cause but to her I'm nothing like that for some reason. I'll never understand her main reasoning for helping me out when I can't even help myself out, but thanks to Sutton I'm actually trying.

If only everything was simple, I keep on trying to find the strength to tell her what happened but every time I back out. It's not that I don't like bringing it up, I don't want her to look at me differently like how everyone else has. Every time someone looks at me they're careful because they think that I'll just break down and crack, but that was before. I'm surprised how manangement managed to hide the whole situation. Now I've just isolated myself from everyone else if it weren't obvious. The boys tried, they really did, but I wouldn't budge.

*Flashback*

It's been a couple of months and nothing has gotten better. I don't want to move or eat, I don't want to do anything. My family left a few weeks ago since I kept on insisting they just go instead of seeing me mope around. The boys have been here too but I always tell them they should just leave because I don't want them to see me like this.

"Zayn, you in there?" I hear Harry's voice outside of my room followed by a few knocks on my door. The door opens to reveal my four best friends standing there with worried looks.

"How you hanging in there man?" Liam asks as they all take a seat on my bed but I let out a grunt instead.

"How did you guys get in here?" I ask in a low voice. It's not that I didn't want to see them, I just need my space right now is all.

"We all have spare keys to each others' flats if you forgot." Louis replies and I nod my head. Right.

"We're worried about you Zayn." Niall speaks this time and I fall back into my bed looking up at the ceiling. I really hate this attention I've been getting lately, I just want to be alone.

"How about we all go out and do something, get your mind off of things?" Harry asks and I shake my head. I don't want to do anything.

"We hate seeing you like this." Louis speaks up and I stay silent, not because I don't want to talk to them, but because I don't know what to say exactly.