She Coyote

27. Reunited

COYOTE

I found Jude leaning against the railing that overlooked the bustling ocean. The sun was hidden behind the clouds, shrouding Brighton Beach in a dim, non-existent light. He had his elbows resting on the metal, gazing out at the water. Smoke weaved it's way up from the cigarette in his lips up into his face. He seemed lonely, distant. I didn't know if that's what he preferred.

I had my arms crossed over my chest, my eyes gazing at my feet. I peeked up at him and quietly cleared my throat.
He glanced at me, a dismal, blank look on his face. He didn't say anything, just returned to staring out at the horizon.

"Um, hey." I started, shuffling towards him.

"Hey," he murmured, his words muffled by the cigarette.

"Are you okay?" I inquired for what seemed like the thousandth time since I've met him.

He sighed, plucking the cig out from his mouth and twirling it between his fingers. He looked down, and all I could see was sadness in his face now, no more rage. Just defeat. "Yeah..." he softly responded, flicking his cigarette into the water.

I leaned on the railing beside him, our arms brushing against each other. I inhaled the scent of the salty water, the air was thick with it. I stole a glance at Jude's face, so gentle and distraught at the same time. I wondered what emotions were raging within his mortal shell.

"You know..." he began, and I was surprised to hear him speak. "I realize that something between me and Beth would never happen again, I know that, it's just..." he sighed, his head falling forward. "I was just excited." He finished, then looked back up.

I arched my brow. "Excited?"

"Yeah." His eyes looked red, watery. Was he crying? I couldn't imagine it. "It was like I was seeing someone I knew really cared for me and I let that get to my head. That was three years ago, but still. I'm like a moth to a flame. Whenever someone cares about me or loves me I get stuck on them."

"I don't think that's true. I care about you." I heard myself say. It was true, I did, and I knew he already knew that, but it still didn't seem to register.

He glanced at me. "I'm still here, aren't I?"

"Yeah, but you run away a lot. It makes me worry." My voice lowered, as if I couldn't decide if I wanted him to hear me admit it or not. What was I admitting? I wasn't even sure what I was feeling. Words were just spilling out from me without my brain's consent.

He was silent for a pause. Only the sound of the ocean hitting against the cement wall was able to be heard. Then I deciphered a small chuckle coming from his lips. I turned my head to face him and he, me. He smiled sweetly, so small and broken. "I promise I won't run away anymore." He told me and somehow this time I believed him.

I returned his smile, standing up straight. "Let's go home." I told him. He nodded, and I was happy it finally felt right calling my shitty little apartment home.