She Coyote

48. Weakness leaving the body

TOLD THROUGH THIRD PERSON

They met face to face. One, Jude, a broken, defeated drug addict left alone in his girlfriends apartment to be swallowed in his fatal thoughts; the other, Coyote, a teenager faced with the weight of the world. They both stared at each other outside of the apartment building. When Coyote saw him she nearly fell to her knees. She saw his leather jacket on his shoulders and the plastic bag in his grip filled with the few articles of clothing he owned. He was leaving. She could hardly stand it.

"W-what...what are you doing?" She whimpered, her small fingers reaching out to try and touch him, but he stepped back.

"Coyote, I have to—"

"That's not my name, you know my name," She sputtered out, her head shaking in accompany to her whole trembling frame.

Jude quickly regrouped himself, started over. "Victoria. You know that I'm...I'm not doing okay." His words slowed, he wanted her to listen to every emotion and every message he could possibly provide.

"We can fix this," She was surprised to hear herself say these things. They were cliché, pathetic words that she convinced herself she would never say, but now they seemed so perfect, they made so much sense now, even if they were nothing but empty promises.

Jude's eyes locked into her soul, grabbing at it and grasping it tightly. "For a while I thought you could fix me. I thought I would be so moved by the idea of getting better for your sake that I would just somehow get better, but I'm not."

"You can get better..." she whimpered, her face contorted from her emotions. The day's previous events had left her slashed into ribbons. She couldn't handle yet another addition to the torture. Especially not this, anything but his inevitable departure. She tried to walk towards him and feel his warmth with her fingers but he was so cold now. His raging fire had fled from his eyes and left him empty. The Jude she loved was broken down in front of her, he was no where to be found. She knew it, he knew it. But it still killed them both.

Coyote continued, "You said you would love me forever." She feared sounding like a pathetic child, but feared losing Jude more. For this brief moment in time she would allow herself to spill her guts beneath the waning sunlight, despite the verbal mess she would leave behind.

Jude nodded softly, taking his thumb and swiping it against his nose, sniffing in quickly. He was on his shit. He snorted it. He thought it was less disrespectful rather than shooting up. "Yeah, I know..." he kicked the ground, messed up the snow. "And I will, baby, you gotta trust me, I will. I told you I would love you forever, even if I wasn't with you."

This is when Coyote really started crying. She lost all ability to speak or to do anything other than fall apart. There was much she knew about death, but this felt worse than death. Jude exhaled. He was torn apart from seeing her misery. To him, her tears were worse than death.

"I need to go." He finally forced out. It took him minutes to build up the courage to tell her this. He didn't want to say it, but he knew it was better for them both. Suddenly, his mouth began moving without his consent. "There's a rehab place in Ohio. Real cheap. Only a day away. My good buddy told me about it, apparently it's right on the beach, lakefront."

Coyote peered up at him, but somehow she still couldn't look into his eyes. Even after all this time, it was too intense for her. Her lips clamped shut, all she could do was nod her head.