Under His command

Part 5

Drool flows like a stream from the corners of my mouth. Lips buzz with the edge of pain and an odd numbness from the citrus forced between my lips. The haze of pain in the darkness alone takes my mind on fantastical thoughts and dark places. Against the pole my body slowly rocks in rhythmic time.

Somewhere in the haze of pain and darkness, I hear the door creak. There is no concept of time. Nothing to give me relevancy to anything outside of the emotional and physical pain. His hand curls around mine, taking away the only lifeline I chose not to use. The button falls from my hand.

"Our actions, thoughts and decisions create a ripple effect far after the time of the initial choice." The chain moves between my breasts shooting hot knives of pain through my nipples. With his words he removes the weights until only the bite of the clamps sear into my tender skin.

"We believe our choices will remove the pain. The quick decision will put us on a course greater than ourselves but sometimes such ideas are foolish. Selfish. Damaging. If I tell you I can take away your agony but you must endure it more for a short time, will you suffer for me?"

My muddled brain does not understand his words. It is far too focused on the ache shaking the muscles of my legs, daring me to collapse. The bite of the clamps, in their bittersweet intensity, I want to beg him to relieve. The pull of my shoulders as they throb in time with my heartbeat.

Behind me his fingers work through the rope which binds my hands. Slow circular movement bring back the circulation as my hands tingle back to life. His hands massage my shoulders to bring the pulled muscles to a more normal position.

"So beautiful," he murmurs in my ear. The soft tips of his hands work their way over the mountains of my shoulders and down the ridge of my chest and around the globes of my breasts until they push up. The lift brings renewed pain shooting from my nipples. My legs threaten to give out in their wide stance.

"Do you want me to release you from this torment, pet?"

My head nods. I want it to end. The pain eats at the thoughts in my mind, pushing its insistence on the small amount of focus I can still obtain.

His hands pull on the ties of the skewer which forces the citrus fruit to attack the delicate skin of my lips. When he pulls it forward, he wipes them with a soft cloth, sopping up the puddles of drool in the corners.

"You've softened the fruit, pulling from it the essence of its once vibrant life. You did not mean to, it had insinuated itself into your most destructive part. It fought against the venomous and lovely lines of your mouth. Now consume it." The kumquats passed my lips with a forced rapid succession until I began to chew. The pungent sour juice sprays across my mouth mingling with the edge of sweetness.

Below me, the locks on the boots rattle and click open. He moves his hands under my knee and lifts each leg out. The movement jangles the chain which links my breasts. My hand moves to sooth pain but hie catches both wrists.

"The pain you now feel radiating from the area which surrounds your heart is sheerly a tangible representation of the pain you cause yourself and others when you do not let them in. The vulnerability of your life is not lessened by the harden emotional walls you build but rather increased because it has no release. Just like the clamps close in on your delicate skin, cutting off the life giving blood, so too did you cut off life giving love. Are you ready for me to remove the clamps?"

"Yes," I whisper. My body shakes in fear for the next step.

"As you experience the removal of the clamps, so is the removal of your own walls. The return of the flow back into self is not without its own brand of torturous moments."

In unison both clamps pull from my nipples and white hot pain crashes through them. Its intensity is indescribable. With each beat of my heart a renewed wave of shooting agony tears through me. In its wake there is a tumultuous feeling winding its way through me. Torment and pleasure mix. My mind confuses one for the other.

"One week's punishment is complete. You did beautifully, pet. Bask in the tangible manifestation. Let it wash through you for the path is long, and the journey is dangerous and sweet."