Under His command

Part 9

"In a moment... I will ask you to wake... when I do... you will become alert and fully aware... When I tell you to drop... your body will relax... your mind will go deeper into this space... Further than before..."

The words float in the air just above me. I don't want to leave this space.

"Wake... Stretch pet..."

The floaty feeling sits right on the edge of my consciousness. The darkness presses in on me. I can feel the agitation rise from its curled place in my mind.

"Drop..." His voice cuts off the mental movements. My body relaxes.

"Wake... Feel how difficult it is to wake fully... you can't think clearly."

I struggle with the change and push myself to come to an alert state.

"Drop... feel your body relax... let your mind drift away... embrace this feeling... ride the wave of blissful calm spreading through you..."

A deep breath fills me as my mind slips away again.

"Wake... Sit up... float until you Drop... going deeper and deeper... each time you drop into my embrace... you relax more and more... it is easier to fall... dropping deeper down..."

Confusion litters my mind in the sudden changes from an awake state to the bliss of relaxation. I sit up, only to slide back down until my body lies comfortably on the floor of the box. His quick movements give no time for thoughts to take root.

"Wake... you feel heavy... your mind floats even though you are awake... And drop deeper... forget everything except for my voice... just fade away... Doesn't it feel so good to let go?... Surrendering your mind and body to my safe care... relaxed with no thoughts..."

Peace seeps into my world. My only focus stays on his words.

"Wake... superb, pet... follow the path of my words... as they let you Drop... deeper down... no thoughts... no need for thoughts... sinking deeper and deeper... where you are blank and calm... your muscles are relaxed... drift further... let go completely... no need for thoughts... Drop deep."

It is impossible to form thoughts here. There is a zen peace I've wished to find. I do not want to leave his words.

"When you think about surrender, you realize it is the opportunity you have been waiting for.... to truly be one with yourself... open and vulnerable... those signals you get from your body... the fluttering, the anticipation, is your body telling you know you are ready to give up control... And you can imagine releasing your true self... finding your slave self amongst all the good parts of life... these parts that make you feel good about yourself... and you can imagine them... pressing around you ... meeting you... and you feel so good because every part of you ... is valuable..."

The words fill my mind with the image of a room. All the good moments of life surround me while the negative ones shrink into the corner.

"Take the good with the bad and learn from your mistakes... embrace opportunities... accept help when the load is too heavy... request penance and forgiveness when you struggle to give it to yourself... You know there are many ways to surrender... The ego mind believes it is about giving up... You are smarter... you know surrender is giving and receiving... You are happiest when they feel loved and needed... these things must be embraced... Sometimes everyone underestimates their own talent... Your talents are beautiful... Your conscious mind may wonder about the right level of surrender while your unconscious mind develops the depth of surrender you need; or your unconscious mind can decide the level while your conscious mind thinks about how to develop surrender in our relationship..."

The words are true. My mind embraces them without evaluation. His dulcet voice soothes the last vestiges of frustration.

"In a moment, I will stop and let you drift to sleep... stay in place... let your body drift off... forgetting all that has happened... when you finally wake... you will feel amazing... if fears raises its head... you will easily express it... drift away... further and further... letting your body give into sleep."