Mute And The Bully

chapter 12

Justin's pov

" my dad abused me when I came back home ... because I was late , the reason I was late because I got beaten by justin at the alley again..

My dad was soo drunk to notice I was already injuried...

I still love my dad  even though he abuses me ... and almost killed me once throwing down the lake  ..."

My eyes widened .... she was thrown into the lake ?!? ..

" but someone saved me and put me into hospital... why ?? I could have died like that ....

I was admitted for 3 days for losing oxygen ..... and on the fourth day I came to school and get bullied by justin and Ryan...

Chaz is actually nice to me ... he gave me food once ... because he saw me outside the lunch that day and I was not eating ....

Chaz thought that was the only day I wasn't eating ... but to tell you the truth ...

I never had  lunch "

But that day when we came and sat on her table ... she said to chaz that she ate....or she lied ...

She lied to chaz ...

O my she never had lunch?!?!

So that's the reason she never came to the lunch area ...

And the next lines seriously shocked me ...

"I eat only once a week since I get free food when I work at mc donalds ...... i save money for school fees ... so i don't eat actually...

The reason why I always go out at lunch break is due to hunger .... I only eat on Friday evenings
That's the only day I work and I earn 80 $ a month....."

She's suffering through a lot ...
She dosnt have money ...parents , no one .

She's all alone ... working once a week to earn money for school fees and not eating ..

Chaz gave her food once ...thinking she wasn't eating only for that day ...

But she wasn't eating at all...

I couldn't believe this...I continued to read..

" but even though when I am not eating ... Justin calls me fat....okay I know I am ugly and all ..but how can I be fat ... I can see my own ribs ...

And slut ... when I never even had a first kiss...well I don't think I will ever have one ..

Since I am known as a mute ..people think its a disease...well come on ...it's not a disease ..it's just I don't have an ability to talk ... I don't have a voice ....

But my mom when she was alive ... she said one day I will talk ... I kept on trying....but I gave up....

Justin is right ... I don't have anyone who loves me anymore .... I am ugly and useless ... whenever I enter the school gate I get abusive words ...making me think why can I just die ready and getting violently abused by my bully.

And when I go home I get kicked where ever justin kicked me...

Then I have to keep on gaping thinking I am gonna die...

But I am still surprised ... ever since 5 years old till now I am alive with all the beatings I get every day ... I never had peace in my life..... I never like to cry in front of someone ... I always cry hiding somewhere...

But when some one says about my mom .... I will have a break down ... because I know she is the one who ever loved me ..

She was my bestfriend ... I would tell her every thing ... telling means showing signs ... my mom learned signs when she  found out that I cannot speak ...."

This is seriously sad .... she pour her heart out in this book.. and I end up reading her dairy ... she hasn't wrote any rude things about me...I am surprised..

She is struggling through soo much....I felt tears form my eyes .... I shake my head to get the guilty feeling off me..

She lost her closest someone...if I had lost my mom ...I wouldn't be like this at all..

Seriously selena is a strong women ... and I made her believe that she's fat , ugly ..and worthless...

I made her cut ...

I feel hurt , sympathy , sadness,  anger for what I did to her..., guiltness ...

I was turning the pages one by one ..and I spotted the word called love.

" whenever I look into Justin's eyes ... they are always cold and filled with anger... I know he hates me a lot ..... but I know Justin has a soft side too.

I know he hates me that why he's rude to me..

But I have seen him smile ... and laugh .. everytime he does that .... it made him look beautiful...

He was seriously gorgeous..no wonder why girls were all over him...

His beautiful hazel nut brown eyes .... his beautiful face feature ... he was surely handsome...

Well that made me fall in love with him...."

What ?!?!?!?  Selena loves me ?!!? Me ? ..

I think I am dreaming.... I pinch myself ...a little too hard .

Ouch that hurt ..okay so I am absolutely not dreaming....

How can selena love me when I had been abusing and bullying her since kindergarden ...

The way she wrote about me ...made my heart flutter for the first time .. and I love the feeling ....

I seriously don't know whats happening to me .... I feel like I am turning into a......softy .

" well that will be only a dream ..when I think about justin being nice to me ...

He already hates me with soo much passion ... and How can he like me ... just look at me ..?

He is always disgusted with me ...and that hurts ... soo much..

He doesn't know anything about me...

He dosnt know that I don't have parents .... he dosnt know that I am being abused at home .... he dosnt know that I starve ..he dosnt know that I believe what ever he says  ... he dosnt know that I work in mc donalds to earn money for School fees .... he dosnt know that I almost died soo Many times ....and he dosnt know I cut because of him..

And last and only .. he dosnt know where I live... and if he does I am done ... because he will absolutely spread to everyone .... and  I am dead ...

Of course he  won't even like me because of all these ugly hidden things ... but my love for justin will never change "

I was sobbing at this moment ... where is she living...??? She only mentioned about paying School fees not house bills...

She went through too much..how can a human live like this....

I searched through some pages to find where she's living ...

But its not mentioned at all..

I am gonna follow her tomorrow  after school.....

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Did you guys like it or love it ...or hate it , I know Its a sad chapter ....well that's how its suppose to be..

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Love yalll soooooo much!❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖

-R