Fred and George and the Toilers of Trouble (Year 1) ✔

Chapter 16:6

The floor was trembling as they came to a stop at the end of the smooth stone passageway. The dust that glazed the ceiling trickled onto their shoulders. Fred could almost hear Lee's heart beating with restless anticipation, as they crouched before a glowing fabric door. He looked down at the map in the cold, yellow light and saw that they were mere feet from the stairwell.

"What's happening?" asked Lee in a strained whisper.

"Staircases," Fred replied, inspecting the passage door while the ground settled. "They were moving."

Fred reached out for the fabric, but the material was taut and more resilient than a tapestry. Thin bands of flickering candlelight broke the darkness on all four sides, and yet the door was fixed to the wall. In fact, it seemed to giggle. After a second push, it giggled louder still.

"Stop! Don't you know what that is?" Lee remarked, facing the strange door. "There's a latch in the corner...and that bit's the frame. It's the backside of a painting."

"What else would I be?" asked a spirited voice from the other side of the canvas.

Fred instinctively opened the map. The ink dot labeled 'Lexington Parsimonae' was moving toward the painting. The boys sidled back and covered their lit wands, cloaking themselves in the darkness of the passage.

Through the shadowy layers of paint, they could see the top-hatted silhouette of the Magical Investigator nearing the framed doorway. The wait seemed endless, as he inspected the source of the giggling. Eventually, Parsimonae returned to wherever he had been patrolling before the portrait had alerted him to their presence, and the boys were able to breathe freely.

Fred inched toward the painting and released the bolt in the top right corner so it could ease away from the wall like a door. He peered down to see that the investigator was holding his hat and studying one of the portraits so closely that his nose dared to touch the painted surface. Then, out of nowhere, the man yelped and vaulted away from the wall, nearly toppling over the banister in the process. The Slytherin house ghost, the Bloody Baron, emerged through the painting, wielding his cloudy sword. He thrust it without pity through the investigator's midsection.

"Take that, you insolent fiend!"

"YEAAWWW!! SPIRITS!" cried Parsimonae hysterically, as he collapsed to the landing. "Someone help!"

From across the stairwell, Lee hurried to cover Fred's mouth in the hope of suppressing his foreseeable snorts of laughter. Below them, the investigator continued his uncontrolled shrieking as he flattened himself upon the landing and crawled headfirst down the stairs. The Bloody Baron sheathed his sword and coasted away, shaking his head at the disgraceful sight.

The boys spied in shock as it took their new professor a significantly lengthy minute to rise, his surefooted appearance lost in a terrified expression.

"Pathetic," Fred noted in a muffled voice.

Overcome by disbelief, Lee dropped his hand from Fred's mouth. "How can you be afraid of ghosts...at Hogwarts?"

"And be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, no less?"

Parsimonae dusted off his silk top hat and placed it firmly on his head. Then, after tucking away a few strands of disheveled black hair, he removed a pair of unusual eyeglasses from the inside pocket of his fine, three-piece robe. These spectacles were unlike anything the boys had ever seen, with numerous levers and interchangeable, colored lenses. The Magical Investigator chose the lenses he deemed appropriate for the task, placed the eyeglasses onto the bridge of his nose, and probed the empty stairwell inquisitively.

Nervous that they would be discovered, Fred pulled the painting back into position. He shrugged at Lee and waited. Half a minute later, they heard the investigator crying out once more and dared to peek out from the painting's edge. Parsimonae was stepping back from Mrs. Norris, his enchanted spectacles sliding down his nose.

"A barking cat?" Lexington blurted, removing the glasses irritably. "What sort of wizardry are they teaching at this school?"

"Calm yourself, Missus...I'm here. What is it, my pet?" Filch asked silkily, as he rounded the corner with a limp. He snarled at the newest staff member.

"This...thing — is it yours?" Lexington asked, straightening his robe with a firm yank.

Filch lifted his cat without a response and departed from the stairwell, muttering what might have been curses as he continued his nightly watch. It wasn't long before the investigator returned to the wall of paintings, this time not bothering to conceal his impatience. His dark robe stood out against the brightly colored scenes.

"No...that doesn't make sense," he spoke softly, before moving on to the next painting. His sharp nose glided a hair's distance from the artwork. And although Fred and Lee had difficulty hearing the conversation, it was clear that the current portrait was pleading to be left alone.

"Tell me where," Parsimonae demanded. "You know! I can sense it."

"No! I shan't! Leave me be!"

"Fred, what are we seeing?" Lee uttered.

"Unless I heard wrong, he's threatening the portraits into talking."

"For what reason? It's not as if they have anything meaningful to share."

"That's not true, actually," Fred explained. "They know things. Professor Quirrell showed us the enchantment in our first lesson."

"He's trying to gather information? Must be asking them what they've seen," Lee assumed. "Like who destroyed the paintings."

"There's more to it than that. Has to be."

"Why?"

"George and I overheard him arguing with his son. And even if we hadn't, I've got a hunch about this."

"So, who'd done the paintings, then?"

"No clue," said Fred in a low voice. "But for now, we've got to stop that bloke before his investigation leads back to us."

"Well, he's afraid of ghosts, isn't he?"

"And...?"

Lee waited for his friend to catch on. "And you have an Invisibility Cloak."

Fred's eyes widened. "Leopold, you scamp."

And just as he readied himself to exit the passage as an unseen specter, Fred noticed that his brother and Angelina were scuttling up the stairs from the first floor. Their indistinct argument distracted the Magical Investigator and gave Fred the perfect opportunity to ease the painting from the wall and lower himself into the stairwell.