Secret Admirer

Chapter 2: Let go

I stand by my locker and I'm looking for the math book since math is the first lesson of the day.

"There you are!" Ella pats me on my shoulder.

I keep looking in my messy locker.

"So. Interesting day yesterday. Right, Right?" Ella teases me.

"For you yes. I felt more like a nervous wreck." I say.

I close my blue locker.

"I can't find the math book. You know our teacher. He will be so mad at me!" I sigh.

"Nah. It's fine. Can't you use Ethan's book instead? We can sit next to him in class if you want." Ella laughs and you can see her perfect teeth are shown.

I'm blushing. The tomato red blushing.

"It would be f--un, but um ... Can ... Can you talk to him for me? Like you start the conversation and I can just jump in?" I say and tap at my blue locker with my glitter painted fingernails while I nervously look down because I can see Ethan further away.  He stands near his locker. Not because I stalk him or anything, but who doesn't know your crush's locker number, come on!

"I can, but you've to learn to talk to him by yourself as well. Since I know you better. I will suggest you will try to get out of your own confident zone. I mean, if he rejects you, then fine. Move on. I mean he's just a fish in the sea right?" Ella grins.

Just a fish in the sea? What kind of expression is that ... Plus  Ethan is definitely more than just a fish in the sea. He's more like the alpha of the fish. The king of the fish. The leader of the fish. Oh god dammit. Stop Anna. Stop this fish logic, it doesn't make sense at all.

Ella is dragging me aside from the mass of people who are walking towards us.

I turn around to see better right then a guy is walking behind me.

CRASH.

"Are you okay?" Ethan asks and looks worried.

"Um ... Absolutely,  yeah. What about uh, you?" I look up and meet Ethan's eyes. 
I'm melting on the inside.

"I'm fine!" Ethan nods and he looks at me in a funny way, like if he's trying to read me.

Ethan looks at me one more time, then he walks away.

I breathe in and out slowly.

"Ooooh. What did he say to you?" Ella's brown eyes are widening.
"Nothing ... or he just asked me if I was okay. Since I accidentally walked into him. Oh, no! I should have apologized or something ... Ella! This is why I need your help!" I stare at Ella with a worried look.

"Anna! Relax! You're fine! I bet he didn't even notice how awkward your conversation was." Ella pats me on my head.

"Ella ... What if he thinks I'm a weirdo!" I look down at my red sneakers.

"That is what you are doing wrong. To handle a crush, you have to stay calm and stop over-thinking everything you do. At least, now I know what to practice with you. Your goal is to stop over-think every scene that happens between you two. Okay?" Ella gives me an appealing look.

"Not even criticize me in those situations?" I ask.

"No. Don't criticize yourself either. Let's start with, you can say at least one thing that went positive in your kind of conversation with him for just a few minutes ago. So go ahead. Say one positive thing." Ella smiles.

"I ... Um ... I responded to him without totally freaking out until I met his eyes." I exaggerate a smile and I also look guilty since my answer probably isn't what Ella wanted. 

"Okay ... Well, now in the math lesson which starts soon. You will sit next to him. Talk to him. Get to know him, then I think you will be out of your own confident zone and if you need help. I will be close enough to talk to him for you. Alright, I need to get my stuff so see yah!" Ella winks at me and walks away.