After last night's incident, I approached Dannie with hesitance, I didn't know how she was feeling, and I definitely didn't want to upset her any more than necessary, and nor did I want to clean up after her again. I spotted her in the corner of the canteen and headed over. She looked really upset, and I walked over and plonked myself down next to her. In front of her was a muffin and coffee, and she was sat in a ball.
"How're things?" I asked her gently. "Fine..." She mumbled as she looked down at her sleeve. "It's okay.... I don't mind..." I attempted to gather eye contact, although I miserably failed.
She pushed her muffin and coffee towards me, but I shook my head and pushed it back. I looked into her eyes, they're full of sorrow and upset. I was so heartbroken to see my friend so upset, low, miserable.
"Dannie, please listen..." I pleaded with her. She looked at me with so much anger in her eyes, frustration, I could see it.
" JUST FUCK OFF EFFIE! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND GET A LIFE! I APPRECIATE LAST NIGHT BUT GIVE ME SOME FUCKING SPACE!!"
I looked at her, tears rolling down my own cheeks, I stood up and turned around and walked off. I felt so triggered by her and as a consequence has immediate irrational thoughts, only this time I had seen sense and went to find help. I saw Claire walking down the corridor ahead, so I ran up to her. She looked incredibly surprised to see me, and just as she said hello, I collapsed into tears in her arms. I shrunk to the ground, I needed help before I done something I regretted!
Clare pulled me into an office near where we were, and I told her everything, I knew Dannie would hate me after this argument, but someone needed to know, I couldn't handle myself, or my own raw emotions. I was a mess and was having bad urges, but I didn't want to be moved onto ward two either, so I kept certain stuff quiet. Once I calmed down Claire and me had a proper chat in general, about Riverside and how I was doing, she suggested a review and I agreed; I felt a bit all over. Yet I was thankful for having Claire there, she's so understanding.
After my meltdown, and reassuring Claire many times that I was absolutely fine and didn't need any further support, I at least tried to go find Dannie, we both needed to talk; I searched around for quite a long period of time, before I did find her by the pond, and I gently approached her, she was sat down staring into the bond, and went and sat next to her.
"Dannie, please listen to me;" I pleaded with her,
"Sorry, Effie... I can't cope; there's so much on my mind... You; and well they want to discharge me",
"Dannie that's brilliant, but if they knew about last night they wouldn't..." I looked at her and felt guilty, I just told Claire everything about last night and how trigger I felt, she promised not to say it was me but it's pretty obvious. Plus I told Claire I'd try and persuade Dannie to go toward two.
"Yea I know Effie... But maybe I don't want to leave!"
" That's great then; you shouldn't worry! But why don't you want to leave this place, Dannie?" I looked at her confused, and she stood up and looked at me in the eyes...
"Effie you don't fucking get it do you!" I looked at Dannie tears brimming in my eyes, she was hurting me so much... I didn't know what to say or do.
" Effie you don't get how much it hurts me seeing you and you won't even..." I looked at Dannie confused, she was in a bad way, and in all honesty, I didn't want her to do anything stupid.
She looked at me again and paused...
" I might as well fucking kill myself." Dannie turned and fled, and I followed after her as quick as I could, I couldn't trust her and far as I could see it she was suicidal.
I ran after her at full speed, and how the nurses didn't realise I didn't quite know. I watched as Dannie fled up the stairs, and I just couldn't keep up.
YOU ARE READING
Riverside | Mental Hospital | (Finished book)
RomanceRiverside in an adolescent inpatient mental health unit and Effie finds herself there after an attempted suicide. She's out of her comfort zone, and her parents couldn't care less about her, but could she find the one in Riverside? Will she ever lea...