Riverside | Mental Hospital | (Finished book)

Chapter Seventeen

As the normal, I had weekly reviews with Claire, to update my case. Normally you'd have a specialist nurse, however, I'd stuck with Claire throughout since she guided me through the entire process. She often asked many questions, most of which I didn't necessarily answer.

This meeting was no different. I walked in and hopped on the bed, and smiled a weak hello since this was the norm. Claire, looked tired and thin, presumably from the work load she had been facing recently since Dannie had gone, and Effie almost felt a glimmer of guilt.

But the meeting soon took a turn, and Effie was baffled by it.

"Effie, we need to stop looking back, and start looking forward you know." I nodded weakly, I personally disagreed but didn't voice my opinion.

"We've never focused on your health as a whole, just the current situation, would you have given the chance explore?"

"What'd you mean?" I replied intrigued, suddenly showing a slight interest.

"Well, you could have a diagnosis, given the chance." Claire looked at me.

"What'd you mean, and what good is that?" I was suddenly intrigued.

"Well, it'd help us medicate you properly, and understand?"

"Okay... Tell me what are you thinking?" I looked over at Claire, possibly the most serious yet.

"Nothing as such..." She looked at me, her eyes lit up at the sign of life in me, and for the first time she looked awake and excited; as she then proceeded to write notes.

She turned to me once more, and this point I was perched on the edge of the bed, and swinging my legs too and fro, somewhat violently thinking about what she was saying; before she turned to me and smiled;

"You seemed occupied, are you okay?"

I nodded and glanced away almost on cue, my emotions dropped and I hit rock bottom and Claire watched the life and motivation fall from my eyes and to the floor.

"Is there anything I can help with Effie?"

I shook my head, as I pulled my knees to my chest and curled up, and a tear fell down. Then Claire did something unexpected - she stood up and walked over to me, and slid herself on the bed next to me. She placed an arm around my shoulder, and I rested my head on hers, her lanyard rubbing against my face when she turned to me and whispered...

"From friend to friend, not an employee, tell me,"

And in a hushed whisper I started going on, telling her everything, from Sam and Ethan kiss to my letters to Dannie, I watched the concern grow across her face when she realised I wasn't okay, and almost found myself crossing a bridge the same bridge as before.

"Effie, seriously, are you okay?"

I looked at her is a muffled silence, with my head on her now, damp t-shirt. And promised I was, that I was just emotional. Maybe I was lying, but I reassured her. Not because I was scared of the consequences, but because...

All I wanted was reassurance myself.

That everything would be okay.

_______________________________________________________________

Dear Dannie,

Today was bad", I opened up to Claire and told her everything, including out letters I'm sorry, once a fuck up always a fuck up. Once again, I plead for your forgiveness, not that'd I'd ever expect it.

Love your lover, and best friend - Effie