Let Me Inside Your Heart || Jamilton

Fear

With only the memories of when you were mine...

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Alexander had feared storms for a long time. Ever since the storm hit when he was young and destroyed his town, storms had sent him into a panic. But now, Alex's mental state had deteriorated greatly due to the stress he was under. And now his anxiety would be triggered.
And he was alone. He had no one to turn to. Sometimes he would call John if his anxiety was bad enough and he needed someone to come over. But he couldn't. John was gone. He would never be able to comfort him again. He would never hear his voice on the other end of the line, saying, "I'll be right there, Alex!"

He fumbled for his phone, ringing Jefferson. He didn't answer. Alexander let out a choked sob as lightning flashed and thunder crashed. The sky was nearly black at this point. The wind howled, and Alex cowered against a wall. He shakily took out his phone again.
He already knew that the number would be disconnected. Yet that didn't stop him. Through his tears he dialed it over and over in a cruel haze of denial. Just waiting for it to ring. To hear the cheery voice telling Alex to relax. "Damn it!" Came his scream, ripping through the sound of the rain and thunder. He made the mistake of throwing his phone in his rage and despair, and he heard it hit the wall and clatter to the ground. He looked around wildly for somewhere where he wouldn't be able to see the lightning flashing, getting to his feet. He stumbled through the house and found a dark corner. He sank to the ground, facing the wall and putting his head between his knees. He heard the sound of hail hitting the house and his breathing quickened until he was hyperventilating.

He felt his entire body tingling. He could no longer feel his feet, and his hands were cramping. He couldn't move them. They ached. His eyes were closed, but he could still see bursts of colour. He felt so light. He heard and felt a buzzing in his head. He didn't even acknowledge the storm anymore - he was in an odd state of mind, panicked yet not moving. Not able to move. The intake of so much oxygen was causing his muscles to cramp and spasm, so there was nothing he could do to stand or even crawl. The only things he could hear anymore were his own heartbeat and his quick breathing. He had no sense of time - for him, hours could be seconds and minutes could be hours. He had no way to tell. He was suspended in something apart from reality, his mind clinging to consciousness. He was close to passing out. He never even heard the sound of the door opening, or Thomas shouting his name. He didn't hear the footsteps or the yelling for him that became frantic. His consciousness was slipping away rapidly. He couldn't feel. It was all dark with occasional sparks of colour.

Thomas's POV

Thomas had decided to go to a restaurant alone and bring Alexander something back. Halfway through his meal, he noticed the rain that was pouring down outside. He thought nothing of it. Him and Alex had never been close, so he had no way of knowing about his fear of storms. So he continued eating, in no hurry to get home. Thomas himself quite enjoyed the rain and thunder. He had left his phone in his car by accident, and only noticed this near the end of his meal. He didn't mind much. He was sure he didn't really need it, anyway. After a while, though, he knew it would be best to get home, seeing as the streets were getting pretty bad. He wanted to get home before the roads were too bad to drive on. He paid for his meal, happy and content. He went out to his car and checked his phone to see a missed call from Alex.

He wondered why he'd called him. Maybe to yell at him for something. Maybe he remembered the events that had occurred and was going to call Thomas weird or something. He called him back, but got no answer. He shrugged and began the drive home, which would take around twenty minutes. He hummed softly, struggling to see as the sky darkened. He had to turn the windshield wipers on as he was blinded by the rain.