Let Me Inside Your Heart || Jamilton

Collision

He tried to swerve. At the last moment, he saw it, barreling towards him. But he wasn't quick enough, and the last thing he registered was the sound of the collision before the world turned to complete black.

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Thomas's POV

Thomas stared after Alexander. He couldn't find any words as the door of his house was slammed shut. What had made him so upset? Thomas didn't understand. He turned back to Madison, who had a smug expression on his face.
"He was jealous."
"He wasn't!" Thomas shouted, shoving the heavier man away from him. James looked baffled, and then hurt. "What the hell, Thomas? You hate him!"
"Yeah, I used to, but now I don't!"
"Then what do you feel about him?"
"I don't know, okay?! I think - I think I like him."
James stared at him, his expression one of horror. "You like Alexander Hamilton? In an amorous way?"
Thomas didn't respond.
"God damn you! I've had feelings for you for so long, so fucking long! I finally get the courage to tell you and you're off with another man!"
"Well how the hell was I meant to know?"
At this point Thomas was on his feet, glaring at James. "You should've told me long ago! Maybe this wouldn't be happening! And I don't even think Alexander shares my feelings."
"Oh, so you two are on a first-name basis now?"
"Stop being like this! I can't help how I feel!"
James stood up angrily.
"I've been there for you, Thomas. Any time you were stressed out, it was me who would come to your house at three in the God damn morning to make sure you were okay. It was me who listened to you scream for hours on end about anything and everything. Hell, sometimes those rants were about Hamilton himself!"
Different feelings were flooding Thomas, to the point where he thought he wouldn't be able to take it anymore. He was definitely feeling anger, because James refused to understand. But he was also feeling guilt - James was right, he had been there for him in his time of need. But it wasn't his fault that he saw James as nothing more than a close friend.

His friend stormed out with nothing else to say, and Thomas was left alone.

______________________________________

It wasn't until early the next morning that Thomas got the call. It was 7 AM, and he hadn't gone to sleep until five. He almost rejected the call, but a strange feeling told him not to. He was almost nervous as he picked up.

Even as he was being spoken to he was getting dressed, gritting his teeth.
"Is he okay?...Wh-what?"
The world seemed to spin around him, and he couldn't breathe.
"...dead?"

This is all my fault. That was the only thing Thomas could think as he stumbled and grabbed blindly for anything to hold on to.
Alexander was dead.

(APRIL FOOLS!!! (late I'm sorry) (: love you guys x)

"So... It's not serious then? He's going to be okay?"
A wave of relief washed over him as he heard this news.
"Oh, thank God... So he's awake? I'm on my way."
Thomas got into his car, extremely relieved that Alex was okay. He'd received minor injuries and had gotten knocked out, but otherwise he was fine. He would have to stay at the hospital for the night, but soon he'd be able to come home.

He arrived and was told Alexander's room number. He stepped in and there he was, lying motionless with his head tilted back oddly. His eyes were closed and he looked dead for a moment - the multiple bandages didn't help. But when he heard someone walk in, Alex lifted his head and when he spotted Thomas smiled widely, before quickly turning his head away and forcing his smile away.

"So you came," he said softly.

"Of course I did, Alexander! Oh my God, what did you do?! Were you not focusing on the road?"

He went and stood at the side of the hospital bed, taking Alexander's hand in his own. Alex pulled away, acting like an upset child.

"Why are you upset?"
"I'm not."
"It's alright if you are. I just need to know why."
Alex shifted uncomfortably, wincing in pain at the sudden movement. "I - I just had no idea you and Madison were...ah, that close."
"So you heard."
"I did."
"Eavesdropping isn't very respectful."
Alexander just shrugged.
"And we're not...not like that. He had just confessed to me, and I didn't know what to say."
Alex paused for a few moments, looking like he was fighting with himself before he finally looked up to meet Thomas's gaze.
"If you want him, then-"
"But I don't!" Thomas cried, a little too loudly. "I don't want him, Alexander. He's only a friend to me and that's it."
Alex then took his hand.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
He sighed softly. Thomas was about to pull away from Alex to go sit down, but he refused to release his hand so he was forced to sit on the floor.
"You're so reckless. Now, why were you upset?"
"Just, didn't want you to be taken from me or anything, I guess."
Alex stared at the wall as he muttered the extremely quiet sentence - it was almost inaudible.
"Alexander..."
"Shut up, okay?"
He just sighed and nodded, sitting there in silence, grateful that Alexander was alive.