Let Me Inside Your Heart || Jamilton

Frustration

A/N: this takes place about two weeks after the last chapter
The next few will be cute fillers, but this is because I want them to have time to develop their relationship enough to where they start making those important couple decisions but it's a dick move to just do a huge timeskip when you could write cute stuff for people to enjoy :)

When Alex awoke, he was alone.

His hands roamed over the bedsheets, searching for the warm body that he would curl up against and fall back asleep. But he could not find anything except for the empty side of the bed where his lover would usually be laying.

He lifted his head, having to push his hair out of his face so he could look around, confused as to where his boyfriend could have possibly went. He wasn't anywhere in the room.
"Thomas?" He called, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He got to his feet, a bit weak with sleep. He walked to the bathroom, not very coordinated in his movements. The room smelled of soap, and the shower was damp. He must've taken a shower. He stepped out and looked out the window, noticing the grey sky of dawn was still lingering outside. It was very early.

He walked back to the bed, picking up his phone off of his nightstand.
Oh, yeah.
It was Monday.
Alexander sighed. He always hated when Thomas had to work - and that was Monday through Friday. Sometimes even Saturday. Alex worked from home and didn't really have to wake up at any specific time. His boss was actually giving him less work than usual and it was bothering him.
A lot.
Because right now he didn't have a client.

He fell back onto the bed with a sigh, closing his eyes and falling back to sleep.

______________________________________

Alex awoke a few hours later, sunlight flooding his vision. By the look of the sun in the sky, it had to be at least noon. When he checked his phone, he was startled to see that it was already two in the afternoon.

He sat there for a few minutes, uncertain of what to do.

He figured maybe he should write something. He left Thomas's bedroom and went to the guest bedroom, where he kept his laptop. He sighed softly as he sat down, ready to write.

But his mind went blank.

He began to feel confused. This had never happened before. What was going on? Usually he didn't even have to think of it, it just came straight to him and the words poured out of him. But now he had to think very hard to even come up with one word, and when he typed it, it seemed off and wrong. He swallowed hard, uncertain of what was happening. There must be something happening in his head that was blocking him. But what?

He stood up after a few more minutes, deciding that maybe he just needed to go for a walk. He took a deep breath in, dressing himself in casual attire as his clothes were still in this room. He longed for Thomas, who would know how to help him.

He calmed down a bit and concluded that he would be fine, he didn't need to go for a walk. He wandered through the house, ending up in the kitchen for something to eat. But he didn't want anything. He wasn't even hungry, and if he was, he would simply be out of luck. He had no motivation to cook anything. But his stomach felt almost sick, and he didn't want to push himself.

He went to the living room and watched TV for a bit, and managed to stay seated for about two hours. But after a while he found himself unable to concentrate. Thoughts were trying to come to him, but frustratingly enough, they were all blurred together and extremely faint. He would have hold of a single thought for a fleeting moment before it escaped him and he was left with nothing but frustration.

He stood at the door for a few moments, staring down at the doorknob, uncertain as to whether he really wanted to go out or not. He did feel pretty trapped, and his mind felt like it was just... at a standstill. He didn't like it, not one bit. He stepped outside into the coolness of early spring, drawing a breath of the crisp air that was so cold it nearly stung his lungs. Thomas lived in the middle of town, so the sound of traffic was one of the only things he could hear, drowning out the sound of the wind.