Tame (Fillie Fanfic) [ON HOLD]

Chapter 7- Where the hell did I get feelings from?

A/N: I can explain! So basically my whole day has been a tad bit busy, I did school and my chores. And I took a two hour nap and then, I finished the rest of my chores and had dinner at like 7. So when I was finished with dinner it was 8:22PM and I was like shoot! I need to post my chapter! So I was about to head to my laptop and then my mom thought it's be a good idea to force me to do math for two hours, and now I am here at 10:22PM writing this apologetic note hoping you could forgive me. The whole two hours, I was working, I almost had a panic attack I had a gut feeling, that I was letting all of you down, so I am going to write an EXTRA chapter RIGHT NOW!!! And I am gonna write ANOTHER ONE, tomorrow!!! Yayy!! Love you guys and thank you so much for reading my work, I hope y'all enjoy. <3

Chapter 7- Where the hell did I get feelings from?

*CARMEN'S POV*

*ONE DAY LATER*

I dragged all of Alice's luggage into the airport frowning at my departure. I turned to see Keith and Millie waving goodbye with a glum face. They wanted us to stay longer, well me at least.

"Alice can you pull on your own god damn bags." I took Alice's phone out of her hand and I gave Keith one last look. I always thought of myself as straight, I never liked guys. But the only guy I couldn't get out of my head was Keith. I wasn't sure how I felt, and I was scared. I was scared he would find out.

"Wait! Carmen!" Millie ran over to us, "Your flight isn't for a while. My friends wanted to meet you and Keith." She smiled at me.

"What about me? Wait do you have more cute guy friends?" Alice smirked. After Millie rolled her eyes at Alice, I noticed two guys, a girl, and Finn introducing themselves to Keith. They walked over to me and smiled, my eyes caught one handsome male.

"Hi, my name is Noah." The handsome boy shook my hand. He was similar to Keith, he was tall, not too muscular but you could tell he worked out, he seemed caring.

"Carmen." I smiled at him, letting my hand stay onto his a little longer, but he flinched and pulled it away. I grinned at the rest of Millie's friends and we sat on the floor saying stories. The whole time, I looked at Keith, his insanely amazing smile. And the way he smirked. But on the corner of my eye, I saw Noah gazing at me from time to time. Was he gay too? No way, this is just my homosexual brain telling me every guy in the room is secretly in the closet.

"Carmen...Carmen!" Alice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Huh." I flinched, looking dumbfounded.

"Our flight is in a few hours, we have to get through check in." Alice looked at her Michael Kors watch I gifted her for Christmas.

"You go ahead, I need to talk to Keith." I said in confidence, I was probably not seeing Keith for another few years after this, he's going to be in college partying with girls and probably visiting Millie very summer. And I was going to go back to dance camp in Liverpool, missing the crap out of my best friend and the guy I possibly had feelings for. So I decided that I should just say it, I am going to tell Keith I was gay. Maybe not for him but just gay. No. You have to tell him your feelings. I shook off the little devil on my left shoulder and proceeded to let Keith follow me, ready to tell him my feelings.

Keith and I went to a little quiet area in the loud airport and he leaned against the wall with me, "I'm telling you man, you have to stay longer. Hot babes, swimming pools, watching Millie's cliche squad drama. C'mon, Mills is my friend but you're my best friend." He rambled on and on.

"I have feelings for you, Keith." I admitted. He moved a little over 2 inches away from me, and his eyes widened. A longing two minutes, he was still silent, he just looked at my watering eyes trying to find a way to say something but I knew he couldn't. How could someone react to their best friend spitting out that they're gay for them. But the look in his eyes, it peaked with hazel and honey. The color I always admired, his warm gaze hasn't turned cold the second I told him. He's my best friend, and he wasn't judging me.

"W-what?" I heard his voice break, I could just imagine the sparks in his brain, desperately trying to connect the dots and instead just causing a short circuit, "You're gay?"

"I don't know what to do. I'm gay. I am fucking gay. And my bloody mum and dad are going to kick me out of the house if they ever find out." My blues eyes glistened with water, and Keith wrapped his arms around me, letting me cry into his shoulder.

"You will always be my best friend, man. And I may not feel the same way but I know for a fact that I will never judge you. And I doubt your parents will kick you out of the house, they love you." He comforted me. My parents always had a distaste for homosexuals, they were the old-fashioned type of people. The men bring home the money, and the women stay in the kitchen tending to the men of the house, cleaning their kingdom and pleasing their demanding cocks even if they don't want to. They always made fun of my tastes, they built my sister to be the ultimate stereo-typical girl, with being a whore as a bonus. But they couldn't build me to be a typical jock sucking on a new girl's face each week. I dreamed about love, and dance. I dreamed about a future and not the type of future where I relied on a wife, I wanted to be my own type of man. But without being able to be openly gay, I only had dance and it took me almost my whole life for my parents to open up to the idea. And when I heard them stop saying You're not going to a bloody dance camp with queers, Carmen. It was quite astonishing, almost a miracle. And I couldn't get that ruined too.

"They wouldn't pay for my university, my dance, and they probably wouldn't even attend my funeral because I'd already be dead to them if they had heard." I whimpered.

"Then stay here. Join dance camp in America. I'll help you with my internship money, get you a hotel, maybe a job." He smiled, "I don't want you to go back to that nasty place if you know you are going to get hurt."

"I finalized my acceptance to university there, already." I looked down, "I have to go back."

"You got into Roehampton? Your dream school?" He responded trying to hold back whatever he was feeling.

"It's my dream and I need to go there. I can't get this taken away from me." I walked away slowly trying not to give him one last look but as I was half-way there, slowly dragging my feet, I turned and in the half-light Keith looks like a shadow overcame him. Our bond was always the typical and cliche guys drooling over girls, and always playing rugby every week. In my naivety, I thought I would never hear his words again after I had told him. But I was wrong, we have become stronger, closer, and unbreakable. I wanted to stay, but when I pulled away with that baggage it was like my feelings shattered into fragments more numerous than the stars. I wanted to beg, plead, get down on my knees and tell my superiors that my life has meaning, that my love has meaning. I wanted to tell everyone so many things, I wanted to tell Keith how much he meant to me after his offer, and I wanted to tell my parents the truth. It was agonizing, just turning him down like that. So I turned, watching him give me the biggest, goofiest grin ever which read: Hey I know you can't tell anyone who you really are, but you told the guy you have feelings for and he is STILL there for you. So go, go follow your dreams. And then come back and finish the others.

A/N HOLY MOLY THAT WAS A BUTT LOAD OF CRYING AND FEELS FOR ME WHILE I WROTE THIS. YES I KNOW THIS IS NOT FILLIE OR ANY OF THE STRANGER THINGS CAST BUT HMM, IT KINDA FORESHADOWED A LOT OF THINGS AND I DON'T KNOW. I AM VERY HAPPY BECAUSE MY WRITING HAS IMPROVED A LOT DURING THIS CHAPTER AND IT MAKES ME A FEEL A WHOLE LOT BETTER BECAUSE I WANT THIS TO BE AS SPECIFIC AS POSSIBLE SO YOU EXACTLY IMAGINE WHAT IS GOING ON :)) also, I feel as if a lot of you were worried about Noah and Millie, and Keith and Millie. So I kinda just wanted to see what would happen with both of them reacting to the whole gay scene. BUT- NO SPOILERS! I HOPE YOU LOVED THIS CHAPTER AS MUCH AS I DID!!!