There's A Thug In My Life

Chapter 18: Change Gon Come

Jamiyah Pov

It Has Been A Couple Weeks Since I Tried To Commit Suicide. Apparently It Wasn't My Time. I Have Been In Therapy Since The Incident. I Still Have Break Downs Hea & Dea. To Be Honest I Don't Think Im Getting Any Betta'. I Still Want To Die From This Day On. I Just Cant Live With Myself.

"So Anything You Want To Share Since Last Wednesday? " Ms. Stone My Therapist Asked.

"Same Thing Just A Different Day. If This Is How My Life Is Going To Be I Dont Want It Anymore." I Responded Serious As Can Be. I Saw A Look Of Shock But She Quickly Regained Her Composure.

"Is There Any Positive Things You Could Look At. Aside From Always Talking About Commiting Suicide. I Want You To Open Up To Me More. " She Stated.

"Every Night Ms. Stone. Every Night." She Didn't Response So I Continued.
"Every Night My Momma & & That Man  Had Sex & When They Was Done He Would Come & Climb On Top Of Me. I Cried & Cried But When She Neva Came I Thought She Didn't Hear Me. But One Night ." I Paused With Tears Building In My Eyes "One Night He Came In But This Time He Left The Door Opened. & A Few Mintues After He Took His Clothing Off My Mother Walked In All Giggly & Whatever. & She Sat There. She Sat There & Watched As This Man Toke Her 9 Year Old Baby Innocents. She Watched." I Repeated As I Finally Let The Hurt Out That I Have Been Building Up.

"I Know It Hurts Miyah. I Know It Does But You Have To Be Stronger. Its Over Now. He's Gone. You Dont Have To Give Up. A Change Is Coming Miyah. " Ms.Stone Said With Tears In Her Eyes.

" I Know But Every- Everyday All I Could Ever Do Is Be Brought Right Back To Those Memories I Could Feel Myself Giving Up. " I Manage To Get Out Despite My Constant Sobbing.

Flashback

It All Started When I Was Abt 6. My Mother Brought Home A Guy. In His Late 30's Maybe. Everytime He Would Come Around He Would Just Stare At Me. Licking His Lips With Lust In His Eyes. About 2 Probably 3 Months They Started To Get "Serious". He Moved In. Me Personally Thought That Was Way Too Soon. I Know I Was Young & Alotta People Thought I Wouldnt Understand But At That Age I Was Very Smart. One Day He Was Off Work. My Mother Had Just Left For Work & The Twin Boys Were Gone , Jamiylah Was Down For Her Nap. But Me-I Was Never The One To Do "Naps". Always Thought That Was For Babies. I Was In The Front Room On The Couch Eating Grapes Watching Disney Junior As Usual. The Only Thing Different Abt This Time Is He Was There. Right There On The Side Of Me. See Me- I Never Thought He Had A Thing For "Little Girls", Not Until He Came & Sat Me On His Lap. This Was Something My Brothers Would Do When I Was In Trouble Or Getting Rewarded So I Thought I Was Gonna Get A Treat Or Something Given The Fact I Didnt Do Anything Wrong. He Proceeded To Unbotton My Pants. With My Face Frowned Up I Tried To Move His Hand. "Nun Uh. What You Doing?" I Questioned. " We Just Bouta Play A Lil Game." He Stated. "What Ima Get If I Win?" I Asked. "Loads & Loads Of Candy." He Answered With A Small Chuckle. "Okay." I Beamed.  He Countinued To Remove My Pants But When He Tried To Take Off My Panties I Stopped Him. "Ion Wanna Play This Game." I Said Not As Happy As I Was At First. "Just Relax & Be Quite." He Kept Repeating As He Tugged On My Panties. With Tears In My Eyes I Took A Step Back. "I Don't Wanna Play." I Whined. "Man Stfu." He Snapped. Continuously Crying I Let Him Take Off My Undies. He Started To Touch Me As I Cried Hysterically. "Please Stop." I Begged As He Rammed His Fingers Inside Of Me More. The Deeper He Went The More It Started To Hurt, The More Uncomfortable I Became. "Stop Or Im Gonna Tell My Mommy." I Cried. But That Wasnt Enough To Stop Him. It Was The Keys. The Keys We Heard Jingling Outside Of The Front Door Stopped Him. He Got Up Threw Me My Clothes & Told Me To Go Put Em On In The Bathroom. If I Was To Tell Anybody He Would Kill Me. So Thats What I Did. I Ran To That Bathroom Put On My Clothes & Shut My Mouth.

I Cried & Cried As I Told Her The Story That Happened Years Ago. The Same Story That Effects Me Right Now Today. The Story Of How It All Started.

"Thats It For Today Miyah. Good Job On Sharing Your Experiences. See You Next Week, Same Time." Ms. Stone Said As She Handed Me Tissues.

Jamiylah Pov

I Had A Panick Attack. Thats What Happened To Me That Day I Thought I Lost My Other Half. It Hurted Me To See My Twin Bleeding Out Like That. If I Was To Lose Her I Would've Losted Me Too. I Just Hope Everything Get Better. Everytime We Take Two Steps Forward Its Like We Get Knocked Back Four Steps Backwards. Everything Was Falling Into Place. & Now We're Back On This Rode. & Now She Has To Face Her Past Demons All Over Again. A Little Bit Of Happiness Is All We Need. Thats All I Ask For. God Please.

We Lift Up Our Family Before You, Oh God.
Give Them Peace In Their Hectic Lives As Well As Protection Against All Evil Wherever They Go.
Allow Each Individual To Be A Blessing To Others.
I Declare That All Confusion, Hatred, Envy, Pride Agaisnt One Another Will Be Dispelled In Jesus Name I Pray Amen.
I Finished As Tears Streamed Down My Face. "Change Gon Come." I Repeated To Myself.

Sorry I Haven't Been Updating High School Puts The S In Stressful. I Will Start Updating More.

What Yall Think On This Hea Chapter ?