~My Only~ (G.D & E.D)

Secrets*

---Grayson---
My heart was in my throat, I couldn't breath. Danni tried to end her life... I need to see her, but shit I feel guilty as fuck, me and Danni aren't even together but while she was in ICU I had my tongue down Caroline's throat. Wait was it Clarissa? Oh I don't care. The only thing that matters right now is seeing Danni. But I don't know if I can face her. A trail of disruption follows that girl, I dont know if I can cope. I'm meant to be flying to Dublin tomorrow. I knowing if saw Danni I wouldn't be able to go, I wouldn't be able to leave her in a state. If I stayed then we would have to cancel the show and I can't disappoint my fans. With what's going on soon I may only have Ethan, shit at the rate I don't even know if I'll have E. I can't loose my fans as well. I just don't know. I don't know anything right now.

I shot up off the bed, barging past Ethan and Jess over to the safe. I grabbed my phone and wallet and left. I jogged down the stairs. Tears stinging my eyes. I'm a man, I should be strong, give the world my middle finger. I don't need anyone, I should be having the time of my life not crying on my own. Well at least that's what I was telling myself. Truth is i'm a 17 year old boy who can't face the world on his own. I can barely last a week without Ethan, I wouldn't survive without my family. My head isn't in the right place. I slammed my fist into the wall. I'm not fucking strong enough. I pulled my arm back swinging at the wall again, and again and again. Soon my arms were just a blur moving too fast. The wall was decorated with multiple sized holes. I took a step back looking at the damage I've created. I fell back against the wall behind me. Sliding down the wall, my head in my knees. I broke down. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't get the oxygen to my lungs quick enough. My head was spinning and my eyes were soar from crying.

I was having an anxiety attack, the only thing is I don't know how to stop it. My throat felt like it was closing up, the room spinning, my head felt like it weighed a ton. I fell forward. My head laying against the floor, my hands gripping at the carpet. I felt it coming. My hand shot up trying to cover my mouth but it was too late. Before I knew it sick was covering the floor. I rested my head on my arm, unable to stop heaving. I tried to get up but my body was too weak. My vision began to gray at the edges and soon everything went black.

----

I woke to a steady beat of a heart monitor, an oxygen mask over my mouth. I looked round, I was in a rather familiar place. A hospital room. Although in the last few years it hasn't been me the one in the bed, it's been dad. To the left of me Ethan was curled up asleep, my mum sat next to him. Mum held Ethan's hands in hers, she was staring off into the distance, tears slowly trickling down her face. I tried to sit up on my elbow but my body hurt all over. I tried again grunting in pain but I managed. I pulled down my mask, the pain evident on my face. My mum looked over in worry.

'Hi hunni, I'm going to get a doctor' her voice was horsey, I could hear it beginning to crack. She slowly lifts herself up and left the room. She returned a few minutes later with Jess by her side, a doctor trailed in behind. He picked up my charts and gave them a quick glance over.

'Grayson, how are you feeling?' His voice was stern and completely professional. My eyes fell to the floor, I knew what was coming next.

'I'm rather disappointed in you, you know how serious your medication is after what happened last time. You're lucky, very lucky that Jess found you in time. If the ambulance got there a few minutes later you wouldn't be here.'

I heard my mum break down beside me, my heart wrenched in pain. How could I do this to her. She has enough stress with dad.

'I'll be back to take some tests soon, but for now Jess is here to tell you some stuff' he looked over to my mum before leaving sharply. I looked over to my mum who was a mess, Jess awkwardly tried to comfort her but I could tell she was uncomfortable. Ethan was now awake and he had his head in his hands.
'Mum, come with me. We're going to go ring dad' Ethan got up and grabbed our mum, Lisa's hand, leading her away.

Jess perched on the hospital chair, her eyes looking everywhere apart from at me.
'How comes no one knew? How can you have millions of fans and no one knew?' She sounded truly broken.
'How could you not tell the fandom, how could you be so stupid. Do you not realise what you have done to yourself?' She monetarily paused, she finally looked me in the eyes, I could see the pain in hers. 'You nearly died! I nearly lost Danni now you!' Tears were streaming down her face.
'Grayson, your tour has been cancelled, you're not allowed to leave. Your on the emergency list for a liver transplant! Why would you do this to yourself? You nearly died the other year from not taking your medication, why didn't you learn?' She sounded rather frustrated at me. I know it's my fault. I may have just cost my life because of my stupidity.

'How is Danni?' I finally croaked out, I didn't want to talk about me. I didn't want to think about the pain I've caused people. My dad has cancer, Danni's is in coma and now I'm dying.
'Is my dad still in New Jersey?'

'Yes, they couldn't risk flying him over here, Cameron is looking after him till your mum leaves again.'

'Do you know how long she's staying for?'

'Until you're allowed to leave, she doesn't want to leave you here.'

I can't let my mum stay here with me, she needs to be with my dad back in America and so does Ethan, I can survive.
'I'm not going to let her, Ethan and my mum need to go spend time with my dad, he's the main priority. It's not his fault he's got cancer, but it is my fault I'm in need of a transplant.'

'Don't be stupid Gray, Ethan's your brother, and she's your mum!'

'Jess, please! I need you to book three tickets back to New Jersey as soon as possible. One for E, one for my mum... And one for you. I need you to go with Ethan and look after him.' I could see her itching to reply but I cut her off. 'I'll be here with Danni, I'll ask to move to the room next to her. If there are any issues I'll phone you the moment I can. Please Jess. I'll pay for it all, I need a way to apologise for everything I've done to this family.'

Jess looked down in defeat, she knew I was right. I could tell she was fighting an internal battle about leaving Danni, but she knows Danni isn't going to wake up any time soon, if she can enjoy her life she should. She took a couple of deep breaths before nodding.

'I'm going to go Tell Eth and your mum'
She got up quickly without looking in my direction.

'Jess? Can you please grab the doctor on your way out?'
Still not looking at me she modded again before leaving. I leant back against the bed, trying to get comfy. The doctor arriving shortly after.

'You wanted me Mr Dolan?'

'Yes,' I stopped, looking up at the ceiling blinking back the tears ' I don't want you to let anyone in my room, not my mum, my brother, Jess, no one unless it's medical staff. If you allow them in my room I will not receive the transplant.' I chocked on the words, it will pain me to do so but I wouldn't be able to let them go. Goodbyes would be too hard as I wouldn't know if I'd ever see them again. I was completely serious and I know Ethan would believe me.

'Are you sure Mr Dolan?'

I nodded, quickly wiping away the tears. I silently whispered a goodbye to them all. I hope they understand I'm doing this for them. I'll get through this. Im sure a donor will be found soon enough and it'll all be ok.

Wow there is a lot of drama! But will Danni or Grayson survive? Keep reading to find out xx