flaws // h.s & j.t

fifteen

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER DEALS WITH SELF HARM. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED.

afraid // the neighbourhood

I sat in the taxi, waving good bye to the three other girls, and then I remembered that I could singlehandedly ruin Perrie's life.

The guilt I was feeling was eating me alive. Out of the three girls, I felt like I was closest to Perrie, and I didn't want to be the reason that she stopped smiling.

Also, I thought, it'd tear the band apart. Jesy would have to find someone else to hurt Perrie, because I certainly didn't want to.

I'd been through too much in the past three days and I couldn't cope anymore. I couldn't face Harry or Louis, and I just needed to get a fresh start.

I texted Jesy as I hopped out of the taxi. "I'm out. Tell the girls if you want."

My family were all squashed into the small flat I owned in Camden, and thankfully they all realised that I was so tired after X-Factor, so they all left.

At around 7pm, I got a text from Perrie. Shakily I opened it.

"I just heard what you done. I'm shocked, but I'll support you in whatever you do. Can't wait to see you in the new year and we can start writing new music! Love ya!! <3"

Well, Perrie seemed to have taken it quite well. But my fate was already mapped out; I knew what I had to do, and I had accepted the consequences.

I left a letter on my bedside table for my mum.

"Mum,

You're the only person I can trust, but I've not told you what's been going on.

I met Harry again, and I took him back. However I was cheating on him with his best friend.

I can't cope with the accusing glares. I know I done wrong, I know I was being selfish but I can't take it anymore.

I can't live knowing I've screwed up my chance at love.

I'll love you forever.

Jade x"

I pulled out a razor-blade from my bedside table as I dragged the cool metal blade across my skin. I let my arm bleed out as I slowly felt myself slipping into darkness.

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this is unedited