Camren - one shots

Summertime Sadness

She held her head out of the window and we drove. The wind blowing through her hair. She took out or camera and started to record me.

"Babe, I'm driving." I say and laugh. She starts to giggle and turns the camera towards herself. She smiles and turn it off. She was happy then. In the summer.

Sometimes I woke up to sobs. She would be in the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror and crying. I never understood why she was so insecure. I would hold her until she would calm down and she never spoke about it for the rest of the day.

One day we were at the beach. Her head rested on my lap and she said, "How do you think our lives would have been if we never met?"

And I told her, "I wouldn't be as happy as I am right now." She simply nodded and was silent again. I decided not to push her into telling me why she asked that.

When we were with our friends, she was always distant. It was like she was there, but she wasn't.

"What are you thinking about?" They would ask her. And she would simply shrug, shaking off the question. Then she would continue to look at completely nothing.

She was sad. But she was still here.

I remember that night that I found her. I could never forget it.

I found her on the bathroom floor. Crying hysterically. About what? I still don't know. She never told me why she was crying. But she just kept saying those words that stabbed my heart.

"I want to die."

After that night, she seemed to be okay.

I took her driving again and she was laughing and smiling. We went back to the beach and played around in the water. We laid on the sand, enjoying the serenity. Everything seemed to be alright.

That's the thing though. Everything seemed to be alright.

I remember getting the call. That call telling me to get to the hospital as soon as could. Everything seemed to stop and the only thing that seems to be happening was me getting there as soon as possible.

I remember holding her weak hand in the hospital. Crying silently. Her skin paler than usual. Her heartbeat barely hanging on.

I remember losing her. How my heart ached for days, weeks, months.

Her Summertime Sadness became my own.