Reassurance

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Cred To grandefordemi

Camila

Lo are you awake?

It is nearly Christmas and the girls and I have all headed back home for a week to spend holiday with our families and friends. I love being back home and spending time with not only my parents but also my little sister, Sofi. Whenever I am away from home I miss Sofi the most out of everyone. You see, the girls parents and mine switch around so there's always at least one parent with us. I love this because when it's my Mom or Dad's turn I get to spend time with them. Because of this, the only close family I don't get the chance to see when I'm away is Sofi.

I feel like I've missed out a lot in her life and it scares me. Sometimes I feel like she'll resent me at some point because I was never around. What happens if she needs me and I'm not there? What happens if she ends up hating me? What happens if we grow apart because of the small amount of time we spend together? I love my little sister more than anything and thoughts like these are the reason I am unable to sleep right now.

Why are you awake Camz? It's 2:39am.

Whenever I'm unable to sleep or I have something on my mind I always have one of the girls I can go to and get thing off my chest but since I'm at home right now the girls aren't here to help in person. The only person I have any chance of seeing at times like this is Lauren. Texting her and seeing if she can come over seems like my bet of getting any comfort on these thoughts. Lo coming over is probably my best bet of getting any sleep too.

These are the moments I'm grateful for the minimal distance between us at all times. Having Lauren live with me most of the time and live right near me when we're in break back home is amazing. I trust Lauren with my life and right now I'm glad she's the only one I can turn to. I've never been more happy that we live so close to each other. I don't know if id be able to cope coming home if I wouldn't be able to see her for days or even weeks at a time.

Can you come over?

As I lay in bed I pray that Lauren is able to come over. I know it's almost 3 in the morning and it's a lot to ask but right now I need someone to talk to in person. I'm feeling really unsure right now and I just feel the need to have the comfort of her.

Are you okay babe?

Am I okay? Honestly I don't think I am. All these thoughts about the future and Sofi are really messing up my emotions. I know I'm being stupid and worrying about nothing but I just need someone to comfort me and help me see sense. But what if I'm right? What if she does end up hating me or resenting me or worst off, forgetting me?

Not really.

I really hope Lauren can make it. I don't want to bother her or get in the way of her sleep or family time but I need her to help me settle my mind. I need my girlfriend right now.

On my way.

-----

It's been 10 minutes since Lauren texted me saying she's on her way and I've been on edge ever since. I've gone from laying in my bed waiting to going to into Sofi's room, sitting on the edge of her bed stroking her hair while she sleeps.

I really hope Sofi and I will always be as close as we've always been because I don't know what I'd do without her. I place my phone on Sofi's bedside table and continue to stroke her hair softly. I wish she'd stay this age forever because she seriously is growing up so fast.

As I continue to stroke Sofi's hair a sigh leaves my lips. Before I realise how long I've been sitting next to a sleeping Sofi her room lights up and I realise I have a message.

I'm outside princess.

I lock my phone and lean over to give Sofi a kiss on the forehead. "I love you Sof" I whisper before shutting her bedroom door and heading downstairs to let Lauren in.

I take a deep breath before opening the front door to reveal Lauren. She's wearing a Bob Marley tank top and black pyjama shorts with her hair in a messy bun. I take her appearance in before realising I missed what she just said.

"Huh?" I ask causing Lauren to chuckle.

"I asked if you was going to let me in."

"Oh yeah sorry" I reply, moving to the side to let Lauren enter. I shut the door behind Lauren and turn around to find her already laying on the sofa with a blanket over her.

"Make yourself comfortable" I joke.

"Oh I have but it could still get more comfortable" she smirks.

"How so?"

"If you can come and cuddle with me. I mean you did make me leave my bed at 3am to come over here" she pouts. I pull my Ed Sheeran sweater over my head so I'm just in my green plaid pajama bottoms and a black tank top before lying on the couch next to Lauren.

She smiles lightly before turning on her side to face me, wrapping the blanket over us both and lying her arm around my waist. I lay my head in the crook of her neck and sigh.

"Are you okay babe?" She asks as she rubs small, comforting circles on my hip where my shirt doesn't cover. I shift my legs to tangle them with hers before shaking my head slightly. "What's up?" She asks as she kisses my cheek.

"It's nothing, really it's stupid" I stutter.

"Come on babe, talk to me" she whispers as she uses the arm that was wrapped around my shoulders to stroke my hair gently.

"I'm scared."

"About what?"

"A lot of things but mainly... Right now I'm terrified that Sofi's going to end up hating me"

"What the hell made you think that could ever happen?" She asks as she cups my cheek with her hand. I lean into her touch and explain.

"Camz that little girl loves you more than life itself. You may not be home that often but that just means she wants to spend all the time she can with you. She admires you; you're inspiring her to go for her dreams and to make them reality. You're teaching her that anything can happen and that you can achieve anything you want."

"But-"

"No buts," she interrupts me, "She's always going to love you whether you're with her or on the other side of the world. You're her hero Camz, just like you're mine." The words she has just spoken to me brought tears to my eyes. I feel her swipe her thumb across my cheek as tears fall down my face.

"I love you" I whisper as I capture her lips with my own.

"I love you too" she mumbles against my lips.

"Forever and always."

"Forever and always Camz" she says as she kisses my forehead.

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