room // malum au [in progress]

june 1st, 2021

feedback aka comments pls

"so babe i was thinking that i could steal you and tucker away from your family for the day and take you guys to my parents so we can finally teach the little guy how to swim." michael suggested while barging into calum's room and plopping down on the bed beside the half asleep twenty five year old.

it's been three days since calum almost kissed james and he still hadn't fully recovered from the breakdown he had. calum hadn't left the house at all and barely set foot out of his room.

"i already asked tucker and he seemed really excited." michael added staring at calum who still hadn't moved from his position under the covers. "though he did mention something about trying to learn with james and he said it didn't go so well."

"i don't wanna talk about that." calum grumbled, finally speaking up for the first time.

"why not?" michael asked, pulling calum's body closer to his and wrapping his arms around calum's waist. "tucker told me about everything that happened so why don't you want to talk about it?"

"what did he tell you?"

"he said james took you guys to the bay and he got too scared to swim in the water so then you guys went to get some lunch and then that he fell asleep in the car on the way home." michael answered. "why don't you wanna talk about it?"

"no reason." calum mumbled. "just don't wanna talk today."

"your mom's worried about you." michael sighed. "she said you haven't really left your room since you went to the beach."

"i'm fine." calum grunted.

"you don't seem fine to me." michael pointed out. "what happened love? what's wrong?"

"nothing's wrong!" calum snapped pulling himself from michael's grasp and sitting up.

"well obviously somethings wrong." michael retorted. "you're getting all defensive."

"no i'm not."

"calum something happened the other day and i know this because you haven't been acting like yourself." michael explained.

"i haven't acted like myself in years! it's like everyone just ignores the fact that i was kidnapped!" calum yelled. "i'm never going to be back to my old self! why won't anyone accept that already!?"

calum climbed off the bed and started pacing back and forth while michael sat up on the bed and watched.

"cal baby calm down please." michael begged seeing his boyfriend become more and more distraught with every step.

"no! i'm not going to calm down when everyone assumes that i'm fine and will be back to my old self in no time!" calum snapped. "newsflash! i'm never going to be fine."

"you can get better!" michael pleaded. "you just have to try!"

"you think i haven't?" calum cried. "fuck you! i've tried so hard to be normal again but i just can't! i keep messing up!"

"love, no you haven't." michael replied softly. "you haven't messed up at all."

"yes i have." calum whispered, backing up until his back hit the wall and then slid down to the floor. "i messed up really badly."

michael climbed off the bed and slowly made his way over to calum before kneeling down in front of him.

"how have you messed up?" michael asked gently, placing his hand on calum's cheek. "cal baby, talk to me."

"my fight with luke, i'm always snapping at my mom, and the other day i um never mind." calum mumbled.

"your fight with luke isn't your fault." michael stated, "and getting irritated now and then isn't something you need to be ashamed of and beating yourself up about."