Torn » h.s./marcel

Chapter 20: Stereotypical

Chapter 20: Stereotypical

Marcel's POV

That was close. Allie was on to me. She knew I had secrets. Luckily, I didn't break. She didn't know about my scars or my secret place by the lake. No one could know about those. No one.

There were multiple logical reasons as to why she would want to play a secret-telling game: she wanted to know my secrets and humiliate me at school. I really thought Allie had changed. But suggesting playing something like that just blew it for her.

Why would she want to know my secrets, other than to humiliate me? They're not all THAT bad.

Okay, they were that bad. They were horrible. They could ruin my life. Even though my life sucked already, I didn't want it ruined. I was going to keep my secrets to myself, and Allie could keep her secrets to herself.

There's another reason as to why she would want to play that game: she just wanted to know and, dare I say it, get closer to me. That would be awesome. That would be amazing.

But that wasn't Allie. She wouldn't do that. She wanted to change, but she couldn't. If she was trying, she wasn't doing that good of a job.

Then there's my third logical and yet totally ridiculous reason: Allie had secrets to tell and she wanted to get them off her back.

That sounded logical because I knew that could be partly true. Allie didn't want to just tell me her problems, she wanted something in return.

That's kind of how girls are. They keep in their secrets until they break. When they break, they don't want to just flat-out tell anyone their secrets, they want others to figure it out themselves. And when those other people figure it out, the girls expect help.

But at the same time, Allie didn't seem like the kind of girl to plead for help. So there had to be another explanation.

Her something-in-return would be knowing my secrets. I would know hers, she would know mine. Everything would be fair. But I had a hard time believing that.

What if I was wrong? What if Allie really did just want to be friends? But how could I trust her? She did me wrong so many times, I was surprised I actually forgave her. Maybe I didn't really forgive her. Maybe it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing. But in all honesty, I hoped it wasn't.

Allie seemed to be trying to make our friendship work, just having a few glitches every once in a while. If that was true, I wasn't trying hard enough with her. I had to try harder. Becoming friends was just one step closer into getting involved with her. That's what I wanted, wasn't it?

Getting together with Allie. The concept sounded both exciting and frightening. I wanted to be with Allie, but I knew she didn't want to be with me. I probably wasn't ready to be in a relationship with the most popular girl in school, but I liked to think I was.

When Allie started confessing her secret about my supposedly good singing voice, I thought she was going to say something else. She was at the part where she was talking about singing to each other, and I felt hope budding in my chest. What if she had felt something? What if she did like me after all?

But no, that wasn't the case at all. She only liked my singing voice. Which was great and all, and super surprising, but it wasn't what I was looking for.

If friends were all Allie and I were going to be, I was fine with that. I could wait for her. I would wait for her.

But one thing was certain out of all of this: even if Allie and I did become true friends, I would have to watch my back and be on guard. Allie could flip at any moment, and if that happened, my life was screwed.