He realized being different was actually a curse, by not getting who you desire makes it much worse. The society he's surrounded by only wants the same, no one ever steps outside there box because they are scared of change. You get judged for the clothes your wearing, you get talked about when your not in certain crowds, they lose conscious when the trappers are around. They fall in love with stupidity & abusive men & still wonder why their heart can not let anyone in. Why are you writing a book ? Why u don't play sports ? Why you don't go outside ? Why can't anyone accept Ezekiel for who he is, no one is begging you to stay in his life, he's more focused alone anyway, If it doesn't involves Mona or "Apicology" he doesn't really care. He's tired of trying to figure out what Z is thinking, he continues to put a point across but still no response, it's like he can't win from losing, why can't she just be their for him ? Why everything has to be so difficult ? Why can't she be scared to lose him ? Why can't she feel the same way that he feels ? but she will never answer those questions only with a smile or maybe a nodding of the head. She doesn't know how much he cares for her, dreams, thoughts, everything he does with his mind involves her he can't seem to let her go. He never felt this way towards any female before, her hugs are amazing, she smells better then a fully grown rose, when she look in his eyes he goes in a trance, it's just everything about z is perfect & she fails to realize it.
