Fallen For A Player

Chapter 18 - Ending Relationships

Ryan's POV:

"Holy crap. So I'm gonna have to witness cravings for cigarettes, chest pain, headaches and coughs?" I asked in horror and Erick nodded at me sympathetically.

"Extreme mood swings as well." Dan added as if all the things I just mentioned weren't overwhelming enough.

"Dude! You're making this even harder for me!" I told him. We were sitting on the stairs of the last floor of our school while every student was at the canteen muching their lunch happily. To be really honest, I was a little freaked out at the moment with all the information the boys had gathered about withdrawal symptoms of smoking. I was having doubts if I could make it till the end.

"Hell, man. The coughing started yesterday, right in front of Jen and she panicked. I can't let her know that I'm giving this up." I muttered to myself in horror.

"Then try to spend less time with her." Dan said and just hearing those words together, and in that order, left a hollow feeling in me. Because of Jen's hairy-headed brother, Rider, I could only get myself to see her during school hours and that was already too little for me but now I'll have to spend more time without her? This is even worse.

"But dude, the Christmas Party is coming up." I recalled.

"Then don't go." Alec suggested. For the first time, he looked active, he looked alive with emotions, emotion of worry.

"But I had already asked her out." I mumbled like a toddler who had his candies snatched away from him.

"Ryan, there are only two choices. One: you tell her about all of this and the other is that you don't. But she'll eventually know about this. You can't hide this from her." Erick tried to explain, again.

"She'll just freak out if I tell her and she'll be worried. You know I can't tell her. You know how she'll react." I sighed in distress. What the hell am I going to do now?

"Then you'll have to forget about the Christmas-" I looked up at Dan and he stopped halfway through finishing his sentence. Though I know they were concerned for me, this was the only way they and I could see yet I didn't want to hurt Jen in any way. She's been through a lot already because of me and I don't want to be the cause of her sadness anymore. Knowing that I was the one who proposed her and I will be the one who will be canceling our date was horrible. I don't even know if I can get myself to call off the date.

"It's alright, Ryan. You've got us. We've got your back buddy. We're gonna help you kick cigarette's butt!" Erick said encouragingly and wrapped an arm around my throat brotherly.

"Yeah man. In fact, we'll try to quit with you." Alec said as he sat down beside me. "I guess I'm automatically in as well, right?" Dan muttered with a smile and we all laughed away.

**********

I sat in the classroom and watched the second hand of the clock as it ran over each number in circular motions and which each passing second, my heart rate increased and I tried to come up with an understandable reason that won't hurt Jen's feelings.

Need to take my Dad to a hospital for a checkup?

No. She's seen my Dad. He's one fit and healthy person.

Got a test coming up?

Never in my life had I studied for a test. She'll definitely realize something is wrong with me.

Got cousins coming over?

No. She'll find out that no one came in a very short time.

The bell rang and I started to feel like a piece of shit. I was going to hurt her in just a few minutes and this feeling really sucked like hell.