Chapter 14 - End of Everything

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Ryan's POV:

I leaned on the wall of my school, my arms crossed over my chest and a foot on the wall.

"No, I didn't do homework." I said when Shawnee asked me if I was done with my homework.

"You'll get a detention." She said worriedly.

"I actually am trying to get one." I murmued, thinking it would be terrific if I get myself and Jen into detention. We would have a great one hour together.

"What?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

I chuckled. "Nothing."

She looked back at me with confusion.

"Ryan?" I looked at her and saw her lips tremble a little.

"Yes, Shawnee." I said soothingly, hoping she does not faint.

"I, uh. I was thinking-"

"Was it all true?" An angry looking Jen stormed up to us and interrupted the poor girl.

"What?" I asked, trying to be oblivious.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Ryan! Don't be so ignorant." She said, a combination of fear and worry and hatred in her voice.

"I think I'll talk to you later." Shawnee said and walked away, getting herself out of the awkward situation. I almost forgot she was also there beside me.

"You just scared her away!"

"Don't change the topic. Ryan, please, tell me was it true?" She pleaded.

"You know I'm lying most of the time."

She sighed loudly, finally reliefed.

"But I felt like saying the truth for the first time yesterday." I added and she stared back at me in shock.

Poor girl. Yet it is so sad that I enjoy fooling around with her.

"Ryan, what happened?" She asked, her voice urgent.

"You want to hear? " I asked. She nodded slightly.

"You really-"

"Just tell me what happened God dammit!" She yelled.

"Whoa! Cool down, babe."

"This can be a joke to you but I don't find it any bit funny."

"Ok fine. Listen if you want to. I came to your room yesterday and you were sleeping so laid next to you."

"Why would you even do that?" She looked back at me in annoyance.

"Cause' I wanted to. As simple as that."

Jen started to argue back.

"Then . . . " I said and she closed her mouth.

"You twisted and turned on your and faced me and we talked. Then you-"

"Talked about what?" She interrupted again.

"Does it really matter?"

"I just wanted to know-"

"Then we kissed!"

"What?!" She yelled back, her eyes wide with shock. The light above us illuminating in her eyes, making it shine bright, or was it that her eyes were starting to water. I'm not sure.

In a flash, I interlocked my arms around her waist and she slammed to my chest, her hands on my shoulder. Damn, it feels so good everytime we come in contact.

"I wouldn't kiss you." She whispered.

"Why? Am I not charming enough?" I joked.

"Shut up, Ryan. I'm serious."

"I'm serious as hell as well." I said, trying to keep a blank expression.

"Then," I continued "we had-"

"No!" She shouted. Students on the hallway turned to gawk at us.

"How could you, Ryan?" She continued yelling, forgetting that we were in fact in school.

"Jen, shut up." I said as whispers started to rise.

She started crying loudly.

Oh no. I didn't mean to make her cry. It was just a joke! I didn't know she would take it seriously.

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the classroom beside us and closed the door.

"Jen, please stop crying. I didn't mean to-"

"You didn't mean to what? You didn't mean to do it?! But you did! I should've known! You don't love me! You were just using me, like you did to the others! And silly me, thinking that you changed-"

I walked up to her, she moved away from me and ended up slamming herself to the wall.

"You think I don't love you?!" The anger in me starting to rise.

"No! You don't! If you had then you wouldn't-"

"Oh shut the fuck up Jen!" I yelled.

"Do you really think that I would have sex with you when we didn't even started going out?!"

She looked up at me, her face stained with tears.

"This was all a joke dammit! Nothing happened between us. Nothing. No sex, no kiss!"

I punched the wall near her face in outrage. I saw her flinch, her eyes stared back at me in shock.

I turned around and walked away from her. I need to cool the fuck down, or else I'll do something incredibly stupid. I brought my hands to my forehead and tried to calm myself.

She actually thought this was all true? She still thinks that I don't love her and I'm still acting as if I do because I want to get on with her in bed?!

"You know, I tried! I tried and I'm still trying to show you that I really do love you but it's not working! Can you just tell me what in the world do I have to do to make you see that I'm not pretending to be a mother fucking jerk anymore!"

Jen sobbed away quietly, he eyes glued to the ground as if she doesn't even want to see my face. She doesn't want to see me. She hates my guts.

I walked up to her again and whispered

"You know-" I started to say, trying my best not to touch her.

"I tried. I tried to repay for all the things I did wrong to you. Believe me, Jen. You didn't deserve this, no one did. But when I said that you're the only one I ever loved, that part was true. I do love you, but it seems like you don't or you don't want to. I thought maybe if we could have just started all of this over again then we could've just be happy together. But I don't think you want us to." I finished yet Jen was still staring at the flooring, not wanting to look at me in the eye.

"We're done. I'm sick of fooling around you like a mad dog when all you just want to kick me away."

I stepped away, broken at the thought that we were never meant to be together. The only girl I ever loved would never be mine, and that too all because of me. The fury started to rise again, this time at myself, for all the girls I dated, for being so foolish. 

I turned the knob of the door with such force that it slammed on the wall and with a loud thud, it closed. I marched away, to where? I have no fucking idea.

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Really really short? I know. I just don't have time. This is it for now. I'll try and post the next chapter sooner (and longer) ;)

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