Here comes Teddy

Human pillow (Thirteen)

Teddy PoV

The following day was awkward, Mum and I didn't talk for most of the day, maybe because we didn't want to start another argument again, but I don't know though, it was like late evening.

I was on the couch, staring at the ceiling, something I rarely did, mostly because it's fucking boring, but I actually didn't even realise that I was doing it until Ro started talking, because I was overthinking about shit rather then just staring at the ceiling for fun.

"Daddy"
"Yes Sweetheart"
"Why's the sky blue?"
"I don't know why Princess, Uncle Georgie might be the one to ask about that"
"But Uncle Georgie isn't back yet Daddy"
"I know Bambina, I know"

So then Ro laid down next to me, her head resting on my chest, so basically I was a human pillow, the things we do for our kids isn't always seen.

"Why's you sad Daddy?"
"I'm not sad Darling"
"But you look sad Daddy"
"You don't need to worry about it Bambina, ok, Daddy is ok, I promise, I'm just thinking a lot is all"
"Ok Daddy"

Soon Ro was asleep, so I guess I was good for a human pillow, and for a moment, I was enjoying the fact that everything was quite peaceful, the peace was then ruined by my Mum walking in, the look on her face had me worried about what was going to go down, because the last time I saw that look on her face, we were all sent to foster care.

"Are we going to talk about what happened yesterday in the kitchen Teddy?"
"Shh, Mum, please don't do this now, this ain't the time nor the place to talk about yesterday"
"Is there anything I can do to help you feel more hopeful in me Teddy?"
"Jesus Christ, no Mum, there ain't nothing that you can do to build up my hope in you again, because that's been gone for a long, long, long time"
"How long Teddy?"
"Do you really want to know the answer to that question?"
"Of course I do"
"Ok, but if you start crying because of the answer I give you then that's on you"
"That's fair"
"I lost the last tiny bit of hope when I was 11, and that was when you sent us to foster care"

I thought that she'd leave me alone after that, but no, she then moves on to the other topic that we argued about the day previous.

"Are you ever going to let Megan see Rowan?"
"If Ro wants to see Megan when she's old enough to make that decision for herself then fine, I won't stop her because like I said she would be adult enough to make that decision for herself, but honestly if it was up to me I wouldn't ever let Megan see Ro because she does not need a Mum that would mess with her head"
"But wouldn't you want Megan to fix her relationship with Rowan?"
"Mum, I don't want to sound like a bloody broken record here but Megan can't fix something that she never fucking tried at"
"Don't you think that you're being a little bit over protective of Rowan?"
"No I don't think that I'm being too over protective, but even if I was being over protective of Ro, which I'm not, because news flash, normal parents actually worry about how shit that life throws at you will affect their child, I know, what a fucking concept that you don't understand, (Sighs), I think that it's better to be over protective than scar my little girl for life at the age of fucking three because her mother's a pyscoijc bitch"

At that point I was hoping that Ro wouldn't wake up because of Mum and I were whisper arguing, but Ro did wake up, because Mum's pretty shit at whisper arguing, (though I don't think that I'm much better at it).

"Daddy, is you and Nanny fighting?"
"No Baby, Nanny and I aren't fighting, we're just having a disagreement over something"
"Is it my fault?"
"Of course not Baby girl, it's just that sometimes people just don't agree with each other about something"
"Daddy, I sleepy"
"Well sleepy, I'm Dad"

My poor child looked so confused at my Dad joke, it was at this point that I stood up while holding Ro in my arms, because the couch wasn't that comfortable to lie down on and I would've actually fallen asleep because I was that tired.

"Say good night to Nanny now Darling"
"Night night Nanny"
"Good night Sweetheart"

So I walked up the stairs into my room, well I called it my room but Georgie, Ro and I actually shared it, I put Ro into bed.

"Daddy stay"
"Daddy needs to put his Pjs on Buba"
"Ok Daddy"