Broken//Phan

Ch. 24

[Dan POV]

"H-hi." I mumble lowly, barely audible. I look around the white room, every movement causing pain to radiate through my body. I refuse to make eye contact with the boy with gorgeous blue eyes, green streaks running through the blue, yellow specks spotting and contrasting with the rest of his eyes.

The boy with slick black hair, contrasting brilliantly with his pasty white skin.

The boy so kind to everyone, not hurting a soul.

The boy who was always there to help me.

The boy who disobeyed me in order to keep me as safe as possible.

The boy who was perfect.

Fuck, I am really falling for this boy. And way too fast.

As much as I was falling for him, I still can't trust him.

Not Pj.

Not Chris.

Not Tyler.

Not Josh.

Not Ashley.

Not Melanie.

Not even Phil.

Not anyone.

I've only trusted one person in my life who has stayed trustworthy.

Mum.

The thought of her brought tears to my eyes, but I try to blink them back. I don't want to cry infront of Phil. It's the last thing I want to do.

Mum was always, always there for me. Even when she couldn't, she fixed the problem as soon as she was able to, making it up to me.

She helped me with the wounds Dad left on my body.

She helped with the bullying.

She helped with some of my depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. But they're still there, quite a lot.

My one true saviour.

And she's gone.

Dead.

Never to be seen existing again.

Last time I'll see her is in a few days, at her funeral.

Without me realising, tears leak from my ducts, each creating a different path down my rosy cheeks to the other.

"D-Dan? A-are you okay?" The voice sounded sad and worried, also hesitant. Like they were being extremely careful with every action they took.

I look up, the usual happy, hopeful blue eyes now dull and sad. More tears cascade down my cheeks as I blame myself, Mum's little voice telling me it's not my fault. How can't it be my fault? I'm just a burden to all existence.

I let out a choked sob, hearing someone sit down next to me. They lay their soft hand on my shoulder, slowly and softly gliding it down to my small hand, lacing their familiar fingers between mine. Knowing who it is, I subconsciously melt into the touch, looking the beautiful boy in the eyes.

"Dan," He croaks, groggy from exhaustion. "I-I'm sorry. I-"

"Phil, no." I speak, hating the sound of my voice. "It's not your fault. It's mine entirely. If I-I never trusted anyone, this wouldn't have happened." Phil loosens his grip on my hand, face written with pain. It sounded nicer in my head.

"O-okay. Sorry." He tries to stand up and leave, but I swing my other arm over to grab his wrist, wincing as pain rushes through my system.

"That's not what I meant. I-I can't believe I trusted my Dad. Usually if I fall out of trust with someone, I won't talk to them for a long time. Pj, for example. But, Ph-Phil, there's something about you. Something I can't just leave you. P-please Phil, don't go. I know I'm an ass, but you're all I have left. The last thing that resembles my mum. You're also so much more than that. Just, I need you here," Tears leaving my eyes at a more rapid speed with each word, I look Phil in the eyes.

He looks really sad, tears lining his eyes. He snakes his pale skinny arms around my neck, obviously being careful.

"I never planned on leaving you, Dan."

--

I have a flute assessment tomorrow and it hurts to play flute jusT KILL ME WITH ALL LE SPORKS