Broken//Phan

Ch. 45

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT? MESSAGE? AT THE BOTTOM. V V IMPORTANT. NOT KIDDING. NOT CLICK BAIT. UNLESS YOU'RE READING IN LIKE 3093 THEN IT'S IRRELEVANT.

ANYWAY, ONTO THE STORY PALS

[Phil POV]

My eyes drift, gazing out of my window as Muse rings through the empty house. I haven't felt like this in a long time. Alone. Well, when I say a long time, that's a lie, but it's felt like a long time. Two months of pure, genuine happiness but I'm now hit with the painful reality of how everything really is.

I have to go back to school in a few days, having to deal with my everyday bullying and crisis that is called my life. Ever since my "friends" from music let me down, letting Dan get hurt, they've stopped communicating with me. It's not so much of a loss for me, I was never happy there anyway. I also haven't heard from Chris since I hit his boyfriend with a chair. Sure, Chris made me laugh, but it never meant I was happy.

Dan, though, he made me genuinely happy. For the first time ever pretty much. I don't even know what it was about Dan, he just made me happy and it hurt me to see him as upset as he was over the month. It broke me, even from the moment he stepped inside the science classroom. How he battled and battled to believe that his mum was still there, waiting for him to return home. He longed for her to rescue him from this hell he refers to as 'life'.

I can't describe exactly why I was so drawn to him because how I treated and acted around Dan was, let's say, deranged for me. I have been diagnosed with this phenomenal mental illness called 'anxiety'. More specifically, social anxiety. The fact I managed to talk to Dan, especially stand up for him, not knowing who he is, was something I had never done. It may have been because I've been in that position before. I remember wanting someone to do something like that for me. It may have something to do with it, I don't know.

It didn't help that Dan was by far the most attractive male I have ever seen. I'm not saying that I stood up because my inner gay came out, I'm just stating that he was attractive as fuck. Like those dimples when he smiled, the strawberry colour that he turned when he became flustered, his natural, fluffy, curly hair. Freckles lightly spotting his skin and, shit man, those eyes of spices. He was - and is - so beautiful.

I wipe tears from under my glasses, sitting on my bed on my knees, staring at my pinboard. I run my fingers across Dan's face on the photograph from the booth during his last week here.

"Oh, Dan. How did you do this to me?"

--

Hey guys, sorry it's shorter and took me 2 weeks to update. Writers block is an arse.

So the important thing; idk how many of y'all know, but I tried starting a YouTube channel in April. I only have one video bc I cringed so much at myself.

BUT

I was thinking of maybe reviving the channel a bit by maybe doing a q&a, which I need y'all for. I kind of need questions. You can ask as many as you like, and if I'm happy I'll link the video later

K cool guys, hope you have fun