Broken//Phan

Ch. 39

I'm not dead, just floating...

Okay but for the next three photos I'm going to add a photo and you have to tell me what you think is happening. I need a good laugh.

[Dan POV]

Distaste and sadness lies in my stomach as I stare into my reflection. I study from my newly straightened hair to my clothes hiding my figure - black skinny jeans, a black button up t-shirt and a crimson red tie.

I woke up next to Phil, his colourful duvet covering me, meaning somebody had to carry me back -- most likely Phil -- whom I feel incredibly sorry for. At the realization that Phil probably tried carrying my weight, I found myself praying and hoping he doesn't think I'm disgusting and now is highly disliking me.

With immense pain and struggle, I managed to pull myself out of bed and run next door to grab my attire for today's grim occasion. 

"Well," I mumble to my self, turning away from the mirror, a small tear drop rolling down my left cheek as I walk over to Phil's desk, sitting down in his office chair. "Today's the day. The day I didn't plan on having at sixteen." I sigh deeply, gritting my teeth. I pull out the folded up paper in my back pocket, reading over the words scrawled across the page. Tears brim my eyes as I slam the piece of paper down onto the desk, beginning to pace around the room, mumbling negative slurs to myself.

"Can you do anything right? No. Can't even read a few words without crying! How pathetic! You're the reason she's dead! Your father even told you so. You're the reason Phil's classmates don't like him anymore. Caspar said so himself. He's probably watching you, questioning why he let you into his house. It's a shame, really, that he's counting down to the day you leave for Manchester. He's going to be so happy when you're gone. He-"

Someone suddenly spins me around by the hand, wrapping their fragile arms around my waist, resting their chin on my shoulder. 

"Stop." Phil. The boy's voice is groggy and sounds tired. "Stop blaming yourself." Regret pumps through my veins, making me feel sick. Even more sick than I was when I woke up realizing what today was.

"Uh, sorry for waking you up, I-"

"Oh my- Dan, shut up that doesn't matter, what did I just say?" I get scared momentarily before I hear his playful giggle. I sigh, resting my forehead on his shoulder, tears escaping my eyes. He holds me in this position for a while. Even if I did feel pathetic, having him holding me down in a sense, it did actually make me feel a bit better.

"Phil," I croak, eyes sore and burning. "Do you mind if I go d-down early? I wa-ant to 'talk' to Mum before it starts. Y-you don't hav-ave to come if you d-don't want t-to."

"Of course you can, and let me get dressed. I want to come, make sure that you're safe there."

"Th-Thanks." I sit on the end of his messy, yet colourful bed, waiting for Phil to come back out. As he does, after about ten minutes, I notice him wearing black blazer and trousers, pure white button-up shirt and a scarlet red tie. His raven hair is now straighter than it already was, his fringe covering his left eye.

"Alright, Danny." He walks towards me holding out his hand. "Let's do this."

I take his hand as he squeezes mine and pulls me up off the bed. We start going downstairs, Phil eying his own outfit.

"This doesn't look too formal, does it? I mean, it's not my mother's funeral-"

"Phil, it's a funeral. There's no such thing as 'too formal'."

"Are you su-"

"Phil."

"Bu-"

"Trust me." 

"Okay." Phil sighs in defeat, pressing his lips to my temple as my cheeks heat up. We start making our way to the front door, until a soft voice speaks up.

"You boys are looking pretty spiffy for this time of day." I turn to face a short woman with a blonde bob bouncing upon her shoulders. She's wearing a black dress with black cardigan. Her make up is made up of natural colours complimented with grey eyeshadow. Her height has been increased by the black wedges that her feet lay in.

"Mum, aren't you late for work?" I hear Phil ask beside me.

"Work? Phil, remember I took today off?"

"I haven't been here."

"Oh, that's right. Must've been Martyn. Where are you boys off to?"

"Er..." Phil glances at me, almost asking me as if he tells her. I nod. "A funeral. What about you?"

"That's odd because I am too."

"For who?"

"Julia Howell." She replies sadly. My eyes widen. I begin to bite and chew my lip, forcing tears back. "What about you bo- oh my gosh Dan, what's wrong?" I look up at her confused.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" She apologizes instantly. "Phil's told me all about you,"

"Mum."

"You're the amazing Dan Howe- Dan Howell! Howell! Oh my god you're Jules' son." She pulls me out of Phil's grip and into her own. At this support, I melt down instantly. "I'm so, so sorry. I've heard about everything that's happened to you recently, and not just from Phil."

"Sh-shit."

"I'm sorry. Your mum was my best friend in high school. We-"

"Wait." I pull back and study her. "Katherine?"

"That's me." She states, a tear sliding down her face.

"Katherine Lester! I knew I recognized 'Lester' when I met Phil!" Phil walks over and pulls us all into a group hug of tears and wracked sobs.

"Anyway, let's get you boys down there early. That was the original plan, was it not?"

--

Ayyyyyyyyyididntdieyyyyyyyyyy

Soz I haven't updated since Charlizard-02 birthday, I haven't been in the headspace.

Friday: I was on a video call with Charlizard-02, so uno

Saturday: Uh... Well... I just watched Doctor Who and made Dan and Phil on Sims 4 so like that's close enough to writing a phanfic

Sunday: I spent the whole day in Perth either listening to or playing jazz. When I got home I started watching Sherlock

Monday: School

Tuesday: School. Drama club. Concert band performance

So that's been... Eventful? Idk, sounds normal to me.

But here are birthday mentions I missed:

24th July - Jess johnidonthavefriends

13th August - Cai (doesn't have wattpad from my knowledge, but oh well)

16th August - Saxophonium ("")

Anyway you're gonna have fun next chapter.

Not.

If you do, you aren't human.