Broken//Phan

Ch. 49

[Dan POV]

I look down, taking a shaky breath. I feel everything around me go, well... Numb, I suppose. Everything I see is now blurry, every sound I hear is a low mumble and it feels like the whole world revolves around me, which is a factor that I hate. Why would the world revolve around someone like me?

Why did I have to change so dramatically in the past few months? Just in January I was the pastel kid with depression and now, in April, I'm sure to be known as the emo kid who has depression. What a great title to hold.

Why did I have to come back? Why is it as soon as I began to be happy around someone they leave? Why did I have to leave Phil? Why did Phil, who is an amazing person, stick around with someone like me? Why did I have get along with Phil so easily? Heck, why did I develop a crush on Phil when I have no chance with him?

Well, truth be told, none of this would have happened if my mum was still alive. I would still be in London, up the back of the room, being beaten up by Caspar multiple times no doubt and Phil and I would've only spoken when he defended me against that science teacher. I wouldn't have developed a crush on him, he wouldn't have ever stuck around me, I wouldn't be missing him, I wouldn't have left him and I sure as hell wouldn't be in this abomination of a building.

"Dan, what's the answer to Anthony's question? Someone like you would know." I look around the room, noticing that I'm now in a classroom, my English teacher from last year out the front.

"Wh-"

"Maybe you should pay attention. I say, nothing has changed about you, has it? Well, besides your fashion sense." The class erupts into laughter. I swallow thickly.

"S-sorry, Sir."

"It's Mr Reece to you." The class roars with laughter. I rest my forehead on the desk, squeezing my eyes shut. I feel someone next to me get up, packing their things.

"Right." Charli's voice us heard from beside me. "You can pick another fucker in this room to pick on for the rest of the lesson because it's only Dan who you have focussed on and for one, I have learned nothing in this class and second, Dan is probably last person worth picking in this class."

Mr Reece goes red, blood boiling with fury, Charli pulling me up and seeming ready to leave. I hear the door creak open before he starts yelling, pointing vigorously at us. "Maybe you can be that fucker!"

"I beg your pardon, Lachlan?" He quickly spins around to turn to Ms O'Neill - the school principal. She sniggers as a rather flustered Mr Reece tries to stutter out an excuse.

"B-but Lilli-"

"Don't 'b-but Lilli' me. Plus, it was a good thing you did that. Five years I've been looking for a socially acceptable excuse to sack you. Come on, come with me to my office." Despite her passive tone, she watches him impatiently, and for the record, if looks could kill, he would be in the furthest circle of hell. She points out the door, flicking her dark auburn ponytail off her shoulder. She winks and Charli and I as Mr Reece stomps passed. She waits for him to reach the office building, so he's out of earshot.

"Dan. Charlotte. Could you wait outside for the moment? I shall deal with the class until we get a relief teacher in." Charli nods whilst I stand there in shock. She pulls me out the door, seating us on the benches outside.

"Dan?" Charli speaks up after a couple of minutes. "What was that whole... Freezing thing you did before. You were unresponsive for ages!" I sigh, my heart still beating loudly in my chest.

"I- uh... I think it's a sort of panic attack, kind of thing, I suppose." I bite my lip. "Almost like I panic to the point that my body shuts down, kinda. I'm not one hundred percent sure though."

"Oh... Makes sense I guess." That finished the conversation pretty quickly. My mind drifts to Phil. How has his first day, at least so far? Has it been good? I'm sure his friends would have loved to see him again after I held him back for however long. Not to be selfish, but the main question on my mind is has he missed me at all? Is he glad I'm gone? Probably. Although, I still smile slightly, remembering the good times, good memories that were made. 

I notice a tall man - who is ironically called Mr Short - walk into the classroom, obviously the relief teacher of Mr Reece for the rest of the week, or however long. Ms O'Neill walks out and sits on bench across from us.

"Sorry about his behaviour guys. Sorry that had to be your introduction back to this school, Dan." Shaking, I simply nod at her in acknowledgement. "I shall go fire his ass now that I have a proper legal excuse to fire him. Do you want me to call June and get you two home?" Charli looks over at me and sees how much I just want to go 'home'. She looks back over at the principal and nods. She stands up, beckoning us to follow her.

When we reach the office, Miss O'Neill tells us to sit down while we wait for June. She tells the lady at the front desk to call June. She then proceeds to storm to her office.

Within minutes, a middle aged woman runs in. She signs us out, then runs towards us.

"What happened? Are you two alright? Are you hurt? Ar-"

"June! We're... Well we'll tell you on the way home." Charli reassures, in her own, odd way.

"Right, how silly of me. Let's go." She says, somewhat relieved. She guides us out to the car, all if us hopping in quickly, June driving, Charli next to her and myself behind Charli.

"So what happened?" She asks, starting the car.

"Well-" Charli starts, but I block out the conversation from that point, not wanting to hear all that's happened again. Before I know it, we reach the house. I run up the stairs to my room and proceed to cry. I cry until 3:30 rolls around. That may sound like a long time and simply impossible, but each time I stopped I think about something else that caused me to cry, having maybe half an hour to an hour intervals between each meltdown. Once I stop crying I try to compose myself, picking up the phone, clicking on a contact and listening to the phone ring.

Ring...

Rin-

"Dan?"

"H-hey, Phil..."

--
HI IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME I'M SORRY

Also sorry if this one was kinda shitty I've been extremely unmotivated lately. I apologise. I feel like my writing's become really shit lately.

Also how's your 2018 treating you?

Me? Oh I got a second degree burn whilst baking the day before I went back to school and I'm still DYING