The Only Hope For Me Is You ~ Phan

s e v e n

Trigger Warning

Phil looked at me with sympathetic eyes, his hand moving back to the small of my back, as if he was about to pull away and leave me.

I didn't want Phil to leave me, I didn't want our moment to end. He ducked his head, about to whisper something into my ear.

"Do you want to come with?" He asked, his lips tickling my ear, some stray strands of hair brushed against my neck, making me shiver.

The only thing I knew right now what that I totally did not want to play truth or dare, but if Phil was there, then why the fuck shouldn't I?

"I-I um-"

"Phil hurry up, we're starting with or without you!" The guy yelled again, this time walking away, towards the stairs of the basement.

"Will you? Please?" Phil pleaded, to which I nodded, and he took my hand. "Come on, then."

Bodies were slamming into Phil and I, as if this house wasn't big enough to host a party this large, which was surprising.

My heart was thumping, I wasn't ever around this many people in this small space at once, and I suddenly felt my breathing slow. The air was thick with moisture from sweat, and my own anxiety.

I brought myself to start looking for an exit, a way for me to get out and calm down. I didn't know if it was the alcohol, or just me. I didn't know I would react this way at a party.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Phil pulled me into a walk in closet, right next to the stairs. Nobody was in there. And the second I realized we were alone, I let out a gasp, breathing heavy, like I was tired, trying to catch my breath.

Phil closed the door, the only sounds were the bass from the music from the outside.

"Dan, what happened? Are you okay?" His voice was calm, bringing a hand up to my cheek, and pulling me into his arms. Somehow, my drink had vanished from my palm.

"I-I don't know," my voice was shaking, and I wiped a tear that had managed to roll down my cheek. Panic attack.

"Do you have a problem with crowds?" The pad of his thumb caressed my cheek, as he looked down at me with concern. I didn't know the answer to his question, as I hadn't had the chance to figure it out myself before.

"I-" I took a deep breath, "maybe? I don't know. You know I haven't really done this kind of thing before." I gave a small smile, trying to calm Phil down.

Phil nodded, squeezing my hand.

"We could go up to my room if you'd like? I locked the door so I know nobody is in there." He suggested. I really appreciated how much he cared, how hard he was trying for me. But I couldn't flake out on him. If he was willing to do anything for me, then I should do the same.

"I'm okay now. Really. Let's just, go downstairs?"

"Are you sure? I don't want you to do anything you do-"

"Yes, I'm sure." I gave him a reassuring smile, and he nodded.

"Everyone else is down there, so hopefully you'll be more comfortable, this is my fault, oh god I-"