Always(Trilogy)

Chapter 4

Songs for this chapter:

Kiss Me- Ed Sheeran

When I Was Your Man- Bruno Mars

Mirrors- Justin Timberlake(Boyce Avenue ft. Fifth Harmony Cover)

All of Me- John Legend

~Harry's POV~

I bend down slowly, my lips barely brushing against hers.

"I want to kiss you so badly." I whisper. I've never wanted to kiss her so badly before. To feel her lips work against mine is a feeling I've missed dearly in the past four months without her. She shivers violently, goosebumps appearing on her skin. I'm glad I still have this affect on her.

"Do you want to kiss me, Allison?" I ask softly. If she says no, I think my heart might explode. I can't take any more rejection right now. And to my surprise, she nods and I chuckle. 'I won't unless you ask." I say. Please, please ask.

"Don't." she whispers and I can hear how desperate she is. My heart stops and then drops five-hundred feet.

"Why?"

"Because if you do...I know what'll happen." she chokes and I can tell she's crying. "And I don't want to be hurt again." she finishes.

"I'm so sorry, Allison." I whisper, pulling her into my arms and surprisingly, she allows me. I've never meant those four words so much in my life. I would do anything for her to understand just how much I mean them.

She silently cries into my chest, her tears staining my shirt, but I really couldn't give less a shit. I gently rest my head on top of hers and close my eyes, tears threatening to spill over.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper again and she continues to cry. I've hurt her, really hurt her this time. I'm seriously the world's biggest fuck up. I'm tired of hurting her, of hurting the people I care so much about. Even the guys have written me off. My mum was straight pissed when I told her, Gemma was disappointed. I've just screwed up everyone's lives.

"Allison, please look at me." I plead and gently lift her face up to meet mine. Her eyes and nose are red, puffy, tired. "I am so sorry. There won't be enough times that I'll say that and you'll begin to understand just how much I mean them. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was hurt too, obviously." I sigh.

"Allison, I'm a fucked up mess without you. I can't think straight, I won't eat, sleep, talk...you are my everything. I've always told you you deserved better than me, and I was right."

"Harry-" she begins to interrupt but I silence her.

"Wait, just let me finish, please." I plead and she stays silent. "I love you so much. I love our kids so much. And I can't believe I was so stupid to just throw that all away. I think..." I swallow. "I think the only way to stop hurting you...is to be away from you." she visibly pales at my words.

"No." she says. "No, you can't just do that. You can't stay away from me, Harry, and I can't stay away from you. That's not gonna work. Do you know how many nights I haven't been able to sleep? I lost thirty fucking pounds in two weeks. The kids were scared and so were the guys. I was withering away into nothing. So if you leave me, you better expect for there to be nothing left because...because you're taking all of me with you." she whispers. My heart starts beating faster as my eyes glimpse down at her full, pink lips.

"I'm going to kiss you." I whisper, looking up into her eyes. "Just say no if you want me to stop." I slowly bend down, pressing my lips to her neck. She stills at the contact and I glance back up at her eyes.

"Keep going." she hoarsely whispers. I bend back down, softly kissing her neck. She rolls her head to the side, exposing more skin. My lips slowly travel from her collarbone, up to her jawline, softly kissing, my lips lightly brushing over the soft skin. Her breathing has accelerated, matching mine.