A New Perspective

Chapter Twelve - High As A Kite On A Starry Night

     The walk wasn't so bad, it was actually peaceful. I would never dare to walk this time of night in a big city, but this small town had such a safe feel to it.  It took about fifteen minutes to make it to Brendon's road, a little ways down from his house I noticed a parked car parked across the street from his house, it was a little strange since I've never seen it before and it gave me an odd feeling deep in my stomach. Keeping my eyes on the car as I made my way up to his house, it was a good distraction but now that I'm standing on his front porch, I have no clue what I am supposed to do. I sat down on his front steps and pulled my phone trying to turn it on but only realizing it's dead, just my luck I thought to myself as I glanced to the strange car.

  Sitting on his steps felt so weird, but what else was I supposed to do? "Stupid girl, why are you so stupid?" I muttered to myself, even though I was high as a kite and my buzz was still going strong my anxiety was starting to spike, my hands were trembling and my heart was racing. How could I have been so blind to see the signs, why would I put myself through this kind of mess.

"Sutton..."  I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt his soft hand grab mine.

"Fucking hell!" I muttered glaring at his beautiful face, his blue eyes were filled with worry.

"I'm sorry, I called your name several times but you didn't respond? Are you okay? Where did you go? Why did you leave?"  He poured questions out like rain falling from a cloud, they just didn't stop coming.

"Who is she and is she here now?" I asked ignoring his questions, watching his eyes roam over me to make sure I was okay had my heart beating faster and the butterflies going crazy in my stomach, or maybe that was just from the pot and beer, who knows and truthfully who the hell cares.

"No she's not here, She's my ex girlfriend Brooke... She was my serious relationship that really messed me up, I proposed to her on our three year anniversary, we both just finished school.."  It seemed like this was a hard topic for him to talk about, he sat down next to me still holding my hand and stared down at his feet. 

"She laughed and thought I was just playing a prank on her at first.." He trailed off shaking his head.  "She took the ring but never gave me an answer..." He looked up and locked eyes with mine, I could see the pain in them clear as day.  "The next day I showed up to her house only to be met by her father who just gave me a pat on the back and note that said she was on the next plane to Paris." He just chuckled humorlessly while shaking his head.  "That was two years ago, I never got a phone call, a text, not even a damn post card."

"And last night was the first time you've seen her since you proposed two years ago?"  I asked my buzz was starting to mess with my mind, I know my eyes were red as can be but I sure hope that the tears that are building up will hide them. I felt horrible for assuming and ignoring him when he needed someone, the guilt was  pushing the tears from my eyes as I tightened my hand in his.

"Yeah, that's why we needed to talk alone.. I don't know what kind of tricks she has up her sleeve and what her intentions of calling me babe are, I just feel something is off with her now. I'm not going to lie, I'm a little worried."

"Are you over her?" He seemed to be caught off guard by my forward question, he glanced up meeting my eyes like he was studying them.

"Are you high?" My mouth popped open with a rush of air at his forwardness, he gave a slight smirk and chuckled shaking his head.

"Yes..." I whispered looking down not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes.

"Yes, after two years of no contact you have no choice but to move on." I glance up to see him staring at me with a small smile.

"I'm sorry I left..."  I whispered, he just shrugged his shoulders then glanced over to the parked car and gave it a curious glance.

"It's okay, It's my fault... So are you wanting to get your keys and head home?" My eyes widened, going home wasn't an option but how can I tell him that.

"Yeah, I guess so..."I trailed off thinking of just finding a park to hang out at until morning light.

"You know..." He reached up and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.  "You can stay the night if you want too?"  I looked over at him and smiled nodding my head.

"I'd like that, I'm not sure I should be driving at this time of night anyhow." He nodded then stood up glancing back to the strange car then reached down offering me a hand.

  He shut and locked the door behind him then peeped out the window shaking his head then turned to face me with a nervous smile. I stood next to the couch unsure what to do or what to say, it didn't help that he just stood there staring at the floor in front of him to make it better.

"I can sleep on the couch and you can have my bed. I'd offer Ronnie's room but who knows when that was actually last cleaned." He said walking over to the hall closet to get a pillow and blanket laying it on the couch behind me.

"No... I can take the couch, I don't mind really."  He shook his head like it was not an option.

"Sorry but no way can I let you sleep on the couch."  He said looking at me like I was crazy.

"Then sleep with me in your bed."  I said stepping closer to him, I could hear him inhale and his adams apple bob up and down, his eyes met mine like he was fighting himself.

"That's not a good idea.." He spoke in a soft husky voice.

"I've had a couple of bad ideas tonight but I promise you this is the best idea ever." I whispered pressing myself against him wrapping my arms around his neck, I could feel his heart hammering in his chest.

"Sutton, please... I can't.. You've been drinking and smoking, you're not in the right state of mind. I can't take advantage of you like this." 

"Brendon, I'm not in any kind of state. I'm more sober than before I left that damn restaurant, I know you don't want anything and you're not ready I get it, I'm not asking you to make love to me. I'm asking you to just let go of the fear and just feel for right now."   His eyes glazed over as I tilted my head and ran my fingers through his hair giving him a soft smile, I could hear him let out a soft sigh like he was still fighting his thoughts.

"I don't know if I can..." He whispered but leaned his head down brushing his nose with mine, his breath on my lips sent chills down my spin. I wanted him but I didn't want him to regret it and I sure as hell didn't want to put our relationship at risk for being to pushy, my doubts were starting to eat my confidence away.

"Then I guess I'll just say goodnight."  I kept my voice steady as I could and stepped back releasing him dropping my arms to my sides.

  Just as I went to turn away to walk to his room, his hand reached out grabbing mine stopping me. I turned to look up to his blue eyes finding them nearly emotionless, his hand pulled me closer and moved up to wrap around the back of my neck and his breath was fanning against my lips, his lips are my kryptonite one touch and one taste and I'm done for.

"If you kiss me, It's game over. I cannot promise that I will stop, you're lips are like the purest water I've ever tasted and once I have I can't get enough. So just know that, if you're still unsure then you need to let me go."  I whispered pressing my body against his hard hoping he won't change his mind.