Hold Tight

Thirteen

 It's been threee days since the attack. I'm still covered in dark purple spots all over my body. My arms also reveal some cuts, that I have recently have put on myself, due to the feeling of being alone and helpless. Today, I sit in my bedroom, alone. Panic! At the Disco blasts through my headphones as I'm holding a book in my hand, trying to escape from reality. Nothing's changing, and it's making me feel worse. I haven't spoken to Bethany, and she hasn't tried to contact me. I would check my phone every five minutes to see if she's texted me. All but nothing. Amber and her followers continue to send me messages, that constantly bringing me down. Calling me fat, ugly, a whore; telling me no one loves me, cares about me, that I'm better off dead. All that runs through my mind is all the memories, the times I've been attacked by Amber. I still don't understand what I did to deserve all this nonsense.

I snap out of my thoughts when I heard a knock on my door. I looked up, pulling out my one earbud to see Brandon standing in my door way. I put down my book and turned off my music. He walked over slowly and sat down at the corner of my bed. His head looked down towards the ground, his face was straight, no emotion showed. I watched tears slide down his cheek. I moved closer towards him, as I wrapped my arms around him. He placed his hand on my arm, lightly pushing me off. I placed my hand on his cheek, rubbing my thumb against it before he broke down into tears.

"Brandon?" I whispered quietly, moving closer to him, attempting to hold him, but he continued to push me away.

He burried his head into his hands as he continued to sob. "I can't do this anymore, Amy," he cried.

"What?" I mumbled, my heart suddenly stopped, "Wha-at do y-you mean?"

He moved from my bed, and began to walk around the room. He rest his hands behind his head, trying to catch his breath. His face was beat red, his eyes were puffy, black bags formed underneith his eyes. Tears continued to rush down his cheeks, he'd run his hands over his face to whipe them away. He walked over to the wall, smacked his forehead against it.

"Babe, you're scaring me," I said with a worry tone in my voice as I stood up and walked over to him.

He turned to face me, I tried to grab his hand, but he pulled away quickly. "I can't do this.." he whispered.

"Can't do what?" I asked.

"Be with you," he snapped as his face began to turn more red.

I froze, my breathing began to become heavier. I could feel water forming in my eyes, my face was heating up. My heart suddenly stopped, feeling like it's shattering into millions of pieces. "W-what?" I stuttered.

"I can't do this!" Brandon screamed as he stormed across the room, "I'm so tired of this. You, all you want is attention! You don't care about me, or anyone but yourself! All you do is hurt yourself so I'd come to you, your anxiety attacked are bullshit! I'm constantly there, I don't have time for myself anymore! I thought I could help you but I can't! I'm sick of it! You won't stop! You won't ever change!"

"Stop, this isn't you, Brandon," I cried.

"Fuck off!" He screamed, "I'm done! Go fuck around with some other dude, just like Beth told me you've done!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't play bullshit. You've used other guys like you're using me, to get sex, so you fucking pull this stunt off. Harming yourself, attacks. You're fucking sick, Amy! People seriously have problems with this shit!" he continued to scream.

"What I have is fucking serious, Brandon. You're the only one that I've had sex with!" I screamed as tears rushed down my face.

"Bullshit, Amy! Bull fucking shit! Beth is your best friend, she messaged me last night warning me about you! I'm fucking sick of your lies!" He said as he punched the wall.

"Brandon, listen to me, I havent talked to Beth since the attack three days ago. She's starting bullshit!"

"Whatever, Amy. We're done. I'm not falling for this bullshit anymore." Brandon snapped as he stormed out the door.

I followed behind, screaming his name to come back. He continued to rush down the stairs towards the front door. "Brandon, stop. None of this is true what Beth told you." I cried as I fell and sat ontop of the stairs, watching Brandon open the front door.

Brandon looked up at me, I burried my head in my knees, hugging them tightly as I sobbed. "I'm sorry Amy," he said as he walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

"I thought you loved me," I cried out as I continued to sob into my knees. I started to cry loudly, although no one could here me, I was alone.

I lost my best friend....

I lost my boyfriend that I loved unconditionally....

I'm hated...

I'm done, I'm officially done...

I can't do this anymore...

And there's no one to stop or save me....