visions

time trials

a/n: i apologize for the rejectionistic (is that a word?) poetry.
but i need to get it out of me somehow.

22:30 - start crying.
start writing.
start thinking.
turn off the music because the right song
is the one already in your
heart.

23:00 - turn off the
lights.
cry a little bit more.
start playing ipod solitaire
and listening to muse
just keep flippin' them cards,
babycakes,
and maybe it'll be okay.

0:00 - turn off the ipod.
battery's nearly dead,
whatever.
it's the next day.
technically.

0:30 - trying to sleep.
sleep isn't happening.
hungry for pizza.
try to daydream.
doesn't work.
keep crying.

0:45 - parents go to bed.
should be asleep by now.
but not happening.

1:00 - go downstairs,
find the phone,
carry it back upstairs.
text in the dark to best friend:
where are you.
wake up.
i need you.

1:15 - start rereading percy jackson
in a desperate attempt to calm down.

1:30 - stop reading.
stop texting best friend.
she's not going to answer, that's obvious.

2:00 - get ipod back out.
charge it a little bit.
keep playing solitaire.
keep listening to muse.
take a bow bow bow bow...

3:00 - ipod's dead again.
sky's lightening in the very distance.
trying to sleep again.

4:00 - tossy turny.
really hungry.
check phone,
play sudoku,
try to sleep.
doesn't work.

5:00 - sky's really turning light.
grab flashlight, reread journal entry
from the night before.
nothing's changed.

6:00 - given up
entirely
on sleep
by now.
but so, so
tired.

6:30 - maybe sneak downstairs
grab some pizza,
eat it, but
no. too much effort.

7:00 - check phone. no reply.
send a desperate note to best friend.
get ipod out again.
keep listening to muse.

7:01 - best friend replies.
tell her.
she talks about her experience.
crying again.
shaking.
put the music higher.

8:00 - ipod expires yet again.
shove it back on the charger,
angry.
still tired.
still crying.

8:30 - manage to stop crying.
dog whines downstairs.
need to get up soon.

9:00 - face the parents.
face the day.
cry no more,
i promise.