My Thoughts

6

It's funny how easily your heart can break. Whether it's from your first heart break, or you're moving away from your friends. But mine, mine is different. You see my life has been a hell hole since I was 5 years old. Parents always fought, mum is a heavy drinker, dad has anger issues, not too long ago my dad also cheated on my mum a third time so that results in heavier drinking, older brother completely hates me no doubt, my brother is the star child, I'm the black sheep of the family, my dad is disappointed in me because I don't live up to his high expectations.
And there's way more but I shouldn't really talk about that.
Anyway, how was my life a living hell at 5 years old? Well it started when I was in Kindergarten, I began to develop anxiety.
You: Oh big deal it's just anxiety.
Actually it was a huge deal.
I would go to school sobbing, not wanting to leave my parents.
I thought if I left them they would be killed and or kidnapped.
I felt as if I were going to be killed and or kidnapped. I thought me or my parents would suffer a painful, brutal death if we separated. Don't ask me how this all started, I just have a overly active mind.
I would have panic attacks randomly during school, traumatized. Nothing would ever calm me down until I fell asleep.
Can you just imagine only being five years old and having to go through three panic attacks on the average day? It was such a terrible feeling. I hated it, so, so, so much.
I cried myself to sleep for two and a half months straight. My anxiety got so bad that even if my parents left the room or something.
I despised it.
That's just where it all started.
Anyway, how's your day been?
Mine sucked ass like always. :-/
My thumbs really hurt. Why you ask? Well I got really mad today and I have anger issues thanks to my dad, so I scratched on the back on my thumb and the skin came off and making it bleed. It stings like a bitch.
My friend Brooklynn (Love you BrookieCookie) and her best friends all got into this fight because someone was spreading rumours that Brookie was talking shit about her best friends.
So like Brookie kept saying it's not true (and it wasn't) but her 'friends' didn't even try to understand why she was 'talking about them' and they just up and left her. So I found her crying in the back of the classroom while we were all supposed to be watching some dumb video and I came to the rescue. Then this bitch who I think started the rumours came over and put on the FAKEST smile to ever exist and was like "Awww, are you okay Brooklynn?" And she gave me a look like "back off" and I swear to christ himself that I was about to smack the ever loving shit outta her. But like BrookieBear is closer to me so... BACK OFF YA BISH!