Diary of a Schizophrenic (Maddening Series: Book 1)

Suicide Note #1

A/N: The support has been amazing<3 Thank you all so much! Please keep the feedback coming! And no, this isn't the end!

February 15, 2011: Tuesday

Suicide Note #1

Hi.

I don’t know who’s going to find this, or to whom to address it to. So lemmie just start with that much. Well, if you found this, then I’m obviously dead.

Well, not now, but by the time you find this, I suppose I will be. So um... why I did it?

I’m ugly and fat and stupid and a burden to EVERYONE. This is going to be better this way, I’ll never have to get in anyway’s way EVER again! And no one will EVER have to see my ugliness and fatness ever again.

So how did I do it?

Well, you’re either gonna find me in the bathtub covered with cuts everywhere or plainly face down in the tub. Drowning seems a little quicker. And not that much pain. So maybe drowning.

Who do I have to live for?

That’s easy. My wonderful friends: Anorexia, Depression, Mia, Addie, Bi, and Sue. Especially Anorexia and Sue. They were the only ones ever there for me, I’d say. Thank you. You’ve helped me through everything. You’ve made me as good as I can get, which is sadly still not good enough.

Who do I have to die for?

Everyone else.

This doesn’t feel right, leaving you a note like this. I don’t know what to put in it. I’m going to end it here, before I change my mind. No, I’m not changing my mind. Good-bye.