out of my limit #wattys2016

chapter 1: numb

it hurt so much the day I found out my mom died. it was March 25th 2012 and I was in Mrs hoppers honors geometry class. I got the slip that I was needed in the principals office and as I gathered my things and walked slowly to the front with all eyes on me I felt sick. I knew something wasn't right. when I got to the principals office I saw my neighbor Mrs lawley and she was a mess her hair was wild and un combed she had on a bathrobe and moccasins and her face was tear stained. when I entered the office she rose to her feet and enveloped me in a tight hug caressing my hair. "where's my parents?" I asked. the principal Mr G cleared his throat and said my dad had called and asked that I be pulled out of school for the day and had given consent for Mrs lawley to get me. "why?" I asked swallowing the lump in my throat "is he ok? where is my mom?" at the mention of my mom Mrs lawley pulled me by the hand and said "let's go I'll explain everything on the way, this is not the place to discuss it." I allowed my self to be pulled out of the office but not before catching the looks of sorrow and sympathy on Mr G and his receptionist's face. my heart fell into the pit of my stomach. I knew something horrible had happened to one if not both of my parents when we settled into the car I turned to Mrs lawley. "ok what is it? what happened are my mom and dad ok? where are you taking me?" Mrs lawley cleared her throat and said "Karla sweetie I'm so sorry but there was an accident, your mother was on her way home from work when a semi who ran a red light ran straight into the side of her car." at that moment I went numb, I couldn't cry or scream although on the inside I was doing just that. Mrs lawley continued, "I'm so sorry pumpkin...she didn't make it..." Mrs lawley trailed off and slumped down in tears, I found myself struggling to console her but also struggling to come to terms with it myself. and in this whole discussion not once have I shed a tear...what was wrong with me? I loved my mother more than anything but I just refused to feel. Mrs lawley pulled herself together so she could drive me home, my mother died instantly so there was no need to go to the hospital. we pulled up to the two story suburban house with the rose bushes my Mom so delicately tended to daily and I saw my dad's white jaguar in the driveway however the red bmw was missing...my mom's car. Mrs lawley and I got out and I slowly walks dup the walk leading to the door. ..the walk my mother used every day....I opened the door to find everything the same a big family portrait of my mother, me and my father greeted us as we walked in the foyer I went into the living room expecting to find my father but he wasn't there. I checked the kitchen and the backyard but he wasn't there either. I went upstairs and. that'd when I heard it, faint sniffling I followed the sound into my patents bedroom and into their closet. my dad sat crossovers on the floor with a bunch of my mom's clothes in his hands.....smelling them, crying I reached down and grabbed his shoulder and at the touch of my hand he looked up startled and when he saw me he pulled me down to the floor with him and held me crying into my hair saying we were gonna be all right. I spotted Mrs lawley at the door of the closet watching with deep sadness and sorrow....and here I was.... not feeling. I was lost and numb and I refused to cry.