A side of me you never found//alerrie

Chapter 12

Alex's POV
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I hugged perrie tightly for a bit to keep her feeling protected, I can tell she's still in pain but she won't admit how much.
I felt her body relax As she fell asleep, our contact not growing apart despite how limp she was.

I was so tired from all the stuff we'd done at school the last week, truth is college is much more tiring than I expected.

I felt my eyelids start to shut as I clung o my girl.

3am
Perries POV
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I woke up to a sharp shooting pain through my stomach, Alex's hand was on my side and his other arm around my back. I sat up slightly trying to reach for my water but I couldn't. I noticed Alex begin to stir a little before he woke up, "perrie, are you ok?" He questioned me with a worried look on his face. "I, i dont think so" I cried out before standing up and running to the bathroom. I could feel the sharp pain shooting around my stomach again but this time coming up into my throat. Before I knew it I was kneeling on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet, emptying the contents of my stomach. I felt like utter shit.

Vomit just kept rising out of my stomach, making me more and more tired after each little bit that I barely had the energy to throw up any more.
The whole time Alex was sat behind me rubbing small circles on my spine to calm me, he knows how much I hate being ill.

"I'm sorry!" I cried as I lay back putting my head on Alex's chest but being cautious not to face away from the toilet in case another round of vomit decided to attack. "Sorry for what baby" he whispered, "sorry for being a fuck up! Sorry for ruining your life! Sorry for being here!" I yelled with tears streaming down my face. "Hey, shhh, pezzabear" Alex cooed whilst tracing small circles on the back of my hand, "you're not a fuck up bubba, you're amazing. Hey, you're just not well, we all have bad days." He said to me.

I assumed I would've woken caitlin with my shouting, and right on cue she runs in to the bathroom, "omg pez! What's wrong?" She yelled. "Caitlin, your sisters not well okay, she needs rest, you do too, go get some sleep" Alex told her. "No. I want to help" she protested against Alex, she's so headstrong but I knew she'd give in to him in the end
"Caitlin" Alex said whilst giving her a stern look, "go back to bed, get some rest and you can be a doctor in the morning".

"Fine but I'm fifteen not four okay! Up don't need to treat me like a baby" she yelled as she walked back to her room.

Alex continued to hold my hand as he lowered his head slightly and kissed my temples, I love it when he does that.

Alex's POV
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I couldn't help but think perrie was pregnant, I mean zayn did rape her and I doubt he used protection when he did.
I needed to stay strong for her. Seeing her like she was broke my heart into so many pieces, but if I get upset it'll only make her worse.

Perries POV
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Alex helped me to get up off the floor, considering how weak and limp I was, it must have been pretty hard. "Alex, I feel so ill. I can't wa, I can't go much more" I fought to get the words out of my mouth whilst my breathing was so irregular.

Ale held me up all the way back to my room, he placed my limp body on my. Bed and pulled the covers over me, "baby, do you want a drink?" He asked me, "please could I have water, and can you get me some tablets" I replied almost whispering. I felt so ill, my stomach was so bad and my head was pounding again.

When Alex came back upstairs I was shivering, he slipped into bed next to me, holding the glass of cold water in one hand and the tablets in another, "here you go bubba" he whispered and kissed my temple softly, "thank you" I mouthed to him, it hurt me to talk, my throat was getting worse and worse.

I took the tablets with my drink of water, then I placed my drink on the bedside table.

Alex's POV
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Perrie put her drink on the side and curled up under the covers, she was clenching her stomach and shaking all over. She had a temperature but she was shivering. "Baba, it's going to be okay" I reassured her as she curled up.

She moved slightly closer to me and placed her small head in the crook of my neck, I kissed her gently on the temple (A/N this is becoming a common thing eh?) and moved my right arm so my hand was on her shoulder, I traced small circles onto her shoulder.
She looked up at me and I noticed her eyes starting to fill up, "hey, perrie babe. It's ok" I tried to comfort her, she hates being ill. And when she is ill she's very emotional and cries a lot, my poor baby.

"I just want to go to sleep. B, but I can't" she murmured, trying to get her words out, fighting against her sore throat and the tears. I felt so sorry for her, and o couldn't do anything about it. "Try your best gorgeous. Cuddle up to me and I'll look after you, I'll be here for as long as you need baby. And tomorrow if you're still not well, I'll take you to the doctor" I whispered, "thank you baby" she murmured.

3 days later
Perries POV
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I'd gone back to sleep on Sunday but when I woke up I still felt ill, I wasn't well on Monday either. On Tuesday I began to feel a little better, and on Wednesday I was pretty much better just very weak.

I hadn't seen Alex since Sunday as he'd been busy with school work, being sick sucks. I was just sat at home thinking and thinking and over thinking. I'm always stressed or anxious about something, I'm just not a strong person.

I love writing songs and singing, so i decide to scribble down some words on my piece of paper next to me.

Strong, a side of me you never found

I only like myself when I'm with you

There's nobody like you

I just needed to make it into a full song, I decided to write it for Alex, to show him what it was like when I wasn't with him.
I spent hours just scribbling different things down until I finally had the lyrics I was happy with

I'm alive, and living's just a beating heart
'Cause we won't admit we've taken it too far
I know it's love cause I will always be the first
To start making up excuses when it hurts

But I'm alone, I'm alone, I'm alone again
And all I want, all I want is to feel again

There's nobody like you, nobody like you
I've tried goodbye a hundred times, not one of them true
Nobody like you, nobody like you
I'm screaming "I don't want you" but you know that I do

Strong, a side of me you never found
'Cause you only see me when my guard is down
And it's wrong, and I hate that it's the truth
But I only like myself when I'm with you

But I'm alone, I'm alone, I'm alone again
And all I want, all I want is to feel again

There's nobody like you, nobody like you
I've tried goodbye a hundred times, not one of them true
Nobody like you, nobody like you
I'm screaming "I don't want you" but you know that I do

Oh, I wanna feel you in the dark
I could use, I could use some
But all you left me with was scars
And that's the hardest part
There's nobody like you, nobody like you
I've tried goodbye a hundred times, not one of them true

There's nobody like you, nobody like you
I've tried goodbye a hundred times, not one of them true
Nobody like you, nobody like you
I'm screaming "I don't want you" but you know that I do

Nobody like, nobody like, nobody like you
Nobody like, nobody like, nobody like you
Nobody like, yeah, nobody like you
Nobody like, nobody like you

I couldn't wait to sing it to Alex! I really want him to like it.