Advice - In The Form Of Rants

18+ DON'T READ!!!

Warning. There is an excessive amount of cringey writing in here. You have been warned.

If you're reading this, you've sinned.

Okay, I'm kidding.

But can we just talk about sex scenes? In this community we've heard all about it before. Cringey excuses for sex scenes (I'm looking at you 'mating season' fanfics. You know exactly what I'm talking about), random mentiond of it and references all over the place.

If you've ever remotely gone onto Wattpad before, you've probably encountered this, or something along the lines of a 'sexual roleplay'.

To be honest, these tend to make me cringe, or laugh. I mean, seriously?

I can't tell you how much I die inside when I'm reading a book (I won't specify, but the scene was completely out of nowhere) and characters do the following:

Commentate what's happening to them. Aloud. Example: 'Then Natsu caressed my vagina while looking deep into my eyes.'

Scream about how good it is.
Example: 'Grimmjow screamed in pleasure as Orihime sucked his dick.'

Try too hard to be sexual.
Example: 'he looked into my eyes seductively, inviting me into his special place'

Or when writers do the following:

Try to come up with too many synonyms for human anatomy.
Example: 'Naruto stuffed his dick into Hinata's pussy, shoving his cock deeper into her nether regions.'

Can't bloody write.
Example: "Then the girl was like 'bro your dick' in me vag and stuff! Am I gon get preggers ore somethin??? Dat shit feelz gud thou init yooo!!!"

Uses overly aggressive words to describe something.
Example: 'Our tongues battled for dominance'

I've said enough. If you can't see the problems here, I can't help you.

But, just in case you haven't, here it is: if you can't write, then bloody don't.