SAVE ME | jjk

the boy next door

Cloe's POV

Arriving at home, I was about to shove my key into the hole, totally done. The day wasn't even halfway over and I already hated it. Before I entered, a sheet of paper caught my eye.

It was messily fixed onto the door with strips of tape. I stopped in my move as I read Cloe on it. I've received way too many letters these days. Sighing, I took the mysterious note into my hands.

I closed the door again and sat down on the bench of our porch. I opened the letter to see a messy handwriting which was strangely familiar to me.

_______________________________________

How do I start this, haha?

I guess, I just wanted to get rid of some things. Some last words.

But you already know my feelings for you since earlier.

So there's nothing much to add than that I am so fucking sorry for what I did today.

I can't put my disappointment in words about how I've treated the person I love... I can't look into the mirror without wanting to break it, along with me.

I know you probably hate me now, and I can fully understand that. I also know that this crappy letter won't change that fact.

I'm just too much of an idiot.

But I can't stand this, I really can't.

These past months were already a single torture for me. Not having you by my side, not being able to say what I said when I was wasted today.

If I could turn back the time, I'd slap myself for hurting the most precious person I know.

I'd go back to my stupid fifteen year old self and tell him that he's letting go of the love of his life.

But I can't, I can't turn back time, I can't erase my countless mistakes and I can't be with you and that's torturing me.

At the same time today you made clear you don't feel the same. I already thought so but being rejected this way, I think that was the last impulse I needed.

You can't forgive me and neither can I myself.

But I tried, you know. I'd been trying to get over you but no matter the number of so called friends, so called relationships, you were always in my head. Every day, when I woke up and when I went to bed.

I've tried for so long and it broke me. I don't want this any longer.

It hurts not to be the person you need.

The only thing I now want is you to remember me, can you do that for me?

Remeber the good times we had, okay?

When we shared everything with each other, trusted and took care of each other.

And even if leaving you is hard, being around you without being able to be by your side is even harder.

And even though I was drunk, I meant what I said. Every single word.

I love you.

I always have, even though it didn't seem like it.

And even if I know you don't, if you feel at least anything for me, meet me, let's talk, show me that there's something good left.

Give me your hand and save me, I'll be waiting at home.