It feels like I'm drowning. It feels like there is somebody holding me underneath a pool of water, yet I have so many chances to fight for my life but I don't. I just let it happen. I just let myself die.
What's the point anymore? What's the point of living if you're invisible to everyone. Or at least if you feel like it. The difference with depression and sadness is sadness is something that you can get over. Depression is like there is no escaping. No getting out. No leaving. Ever.
I need it to stop. I'm ruining Finn. I've changed him into somebody who I can barely recognize. I wish it would stop, you know. All of this pain, it never ends, it will never stop. I want to be able to love myself again, I don't want to cry myself asleep anymore, or worry if Finn is okay. It's all getting so hard and I'm just so lost.
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All I can say is that if there's anything I want in this world, I would want Finn to be happy. I swear I care about him more than I care about myself. He's cared for me through all of this, and now it's my turn to do the same for him.
We can do this. We can get through this. Correction; we are going to get through this.
Together.
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this is the most simplistic chapter I've ever written and i just needed to update so it doesn't look like i abandoned this book.
YOU ARE READING
«dear diary» x fillie
FanfictionShe couldn't take the pain anymore, so he took some of it for her. WARNINGS: Suicide and drug use are mentioned frequently throughout this book. [ completed ] ❁ written by kaitlyn
